Do you often find yourself dwelling on your ex? Is there constant hope and fantasies a past relationship will come back into your life? Do you stare at the calendar, every day, and say, this time last year we were doing? Are you holding on to anything and everything that reminds you of your ex and the time you spent together?
DWELLING AND DEPRESSION
After a breakup, it is normal to feel sad, or even depressed. Ending a relationship, especially a soulmate relationship, is an emotionally difficult time. It is common to spend several weeks, even months in some cases, mourning the loss of a soulmate or romantic partner. At what point do you stop dwelling on your ex? Constantly reliving your life with that romantic partner, long after it has ended, is not healthy. It can actually create blockages to a new romantic partner or soulmate entering your life.
If you dwell on your ex for an extended period of time, you are living in the past. Living in the past is a form of grieving. You feel it was the only time in your life when you were truly happy. Living in the past by dwelling on your ex, prevents you from finding happiness in the present. Hoping and dreaming your ex will come back, and fantasizing about a relationship with them, forces you to live in a future that may, or may not, exist. This will create perpetual anxiety hoping for a reunion. But since you don’t know for certain, you live in anxiety and fear.
LIVING IN THE PRESENT, NOT THE PAST
One of the spiritual challenges of our lifetimes is to live in the moment. We are challenged to be fully present in our lives to do what we have to do. You only have so much energy, or life force. Focusing on the past and what should have, could have, would have been, robs you of that life force. The same is true with living in a fantasy world, where you live together happily ever after. You are so focused on that fantasy you neglect the reality of your daily life.
Dwelling on your ex can potentially sabotage any future relationship. You have spent so much time dwelling on how it was in the beginning of the relationship that you have maximized his good points. This forces you to minimize the bad ones. By doing this you set a very high standard any potential romantic interests will have a hard time reaching. These new guys wane in comparison to the virtues of your ex, because you have spent months, and sometimes years, idealizing him.
Even though you are not romantically connected to your ex, you give off the energy you are in a relationship with him. When guys meet you they may not think you are available. The may believe you are taken, or in another relationship, because in a way your are. You are in a relationship with someone who is no longer there.
A NEW SOULMATE OR ROMANTIC PARTNER
You might meet a potential soulmate partner, or your twin flame, and totally miss. How sad that would be because you are still attached to the energy of your past relationship. You may miss opportunities for love because you don’t want to go out and meet someone new. It’s better to stay home eating bon-bons, watching Titanic and flipping through photos albums of your ex. You may even stalk him on social media to see his latest friend adds.
All of this being said, there are times when you have fully detached from a soulmate and are suddenly flooded with thoughts and memories of that person. This is very different from dwelling. You have severed ties with your ex and have moved on with your life. Quite possibly you are already in another romantic relationship. You might even be married.
You may be having thoughts, memories or even dreams of that soulmate because they are getting ready to make another appearance in your life. This also indicates that he, more than likely, is thinking and even dreaming of you. He is probably considering communicating with you. But this is very different that dwelling. In this scenario you are picking up telepathic messages from your ex.
Dwelling on your ex keeps the energy stuck. It perpetuates stagnation in your life. If you still dwell on a soulmate from years gone by it is time to live fully in the present. Its time to live you best, most authentic life. Now is the time to be open to a new romantic partner or soulmate.