Dwelling on Your Ex or Past Soulmate Relationship

Do you often find yourself dwelling on your ex? Is there constant hope and fantasies a past relationship will come back into your life? Do you stare at the calendar, every day, and say, this time last year we were doing? Are you holding on to anything and everything that reminds you of your ex and the time you spent together?


After a breakup, it is normal to feel sad, or even depressed.  Ending a relationship, especially a soulmate relationship, is an emotionally difficult time. It is common to spend several weeks, even months in some cases, mourning the loss of a soulmate or romantic partner. At what point do you stop dwelling on your ex? Constantly reliving your life with that romantic partner, long after it has ended, is not healthy. It can actually create blockages to a new romantic partner or soulmate entering your life.

If you dwell on your ex for an extended period of time, you are living in the past. Living in the past is a form of grieving. You feel it was the only time in your life when you were truly happy. Living in the past by dwelling on your ex, prevents you from finding happiness in the present. Hoping and dreaming your ex will come back, and fantasizing about a relationship with them, forces you to live in a future that may, or may not, exist. This will create perpetual anxiety hoping for a reunion. But since you don’t know for certain, you live in anxiety and fear.


One of the spiritual challenges of our lifetimes is to live in the moment. We are challenged to be fully present in our lives to do what we have to do. You only have so much energy, or life force. Focusing on the past and what should have, could have, would have been, robs you of that life force. The same is true with living in a fantasy world, where you live together happily ever after. You are so focused on that fantasy you neglect the reality of your daily life.

Dwelling on Your Ex or Past Soulmate Relationship
Dwelling on Your Ex or Past Soulmate Relationship

Dwelling on your ex can potentially sabotage any future relationship. You have spent so much time dwelling on how it was in the beginning of the relationship that you have maximized his good points. This forces you to minimize the bad ones. By doing this you set a very high standard any potential romantic interests will have a hard time reaching. These new guys wane in comparison to the virtues of your ex, because you have spent months, and sometimes years, idealizing him.

Even though you are not romantically connected to your ex, you give off the energy you are in a relationship with him. When guys meet you they may not think you are available. The may believe you are taken, or in another relationship, because in a way your are. You are in a relationship with someone who is no longer there.


You might meet a potential soulmate partner, or your twin flame, and totally miss. How sad that would be because you are still attached to the energy of your past relationship. You may miss opportunities for love because you don’t want to go out and meet someone new. It’s better to stay home eating bon-bons, watching Titanic and flipping through photos albums of your ex. You may even stalk him on social media to see his latest friend adds.

All of this being said, there are times when you have fully detached from a soulmate and are suddenly flooded with thoughts and memories of that person. This is very different from dwelling. You have severed ties with your ex and have moved on with your life. Quite possibly you are already in another romantic relationship. You might even be married.

You may be having thoughts, memories or even dreams of that soulmate because they are getting ready to make another appearance in your life. This also indicates that he, more than likely, is thinking and even dreaming of you. He is probably considering communicating with you. But this is very different that dwelling. In this scenario you are picking up telepathic messages from your ex.

Dwelling on your ex keeps the energy stuck. It perpetuates stagnation in your life. If you still dwell on a soulmate from years gone by it is time to live fully in the present. Its time to live you best, most authentic life. Now is the time to be open to a new romantic partner or soulmate.


8 thoughts on “Dwelling on Your Ex or Past Soulmate Relationship”

  1. I still empathically feel my soul mate even though I don’t want to. How do I stop picking up on their thoughts and feelings?

  2. don’t know what to do. I’m 19 and have been with my ex who is now 21 for 3 years. At first it was all good till all of a sudden, the truth came out. He had been cheating on me. Of course, I was stupid enough to go back after the first time. The second time he cheated I had finally left but then found out I was pregnant. We’ve been off and on since, he’s cheated on me during my pregnancy but I had hopes he would change once he saw our child. Sadly I was wrong, I’m still hurting a lot from all of this and I feel so lost. I love him so much even after all he’s done to me but I know from experience he’s not going to change anytime soon. It’s hard that I’m now also required to have contact with him since we have a baby together now. Guys have asked me on dates but with a baby I have no time for that, and I’m not even interested in anyone except my baby daddy. I just want to move on

  3. Hi, I was with my partner for 15 months and I believe that we were soul mates. We used to talk about getting married and having children. However, after a while my partner had changed his attitude towards me and would do everything to upset me and make me feel jealous. It had to a stage where he became very aggressive towards me so I had no choice but to end the relationship. It has now been several months since the relationship had ended and I am constantly looking at his Facebook page and all the girls who he is talking to, thinking about the future which we could have had, and constantly crying when I see him going out with his friends and having a good time without me. I have just found out that he has become involved with another girl and I don’t know how to cope. I have tried dating again but the men who ask me out, in my opinion, are nothing compared to my ex. I just wish that I could forget about the whole thing and be happy again but I honestly don’t think that I can live without him.
    Can you please give me some advice on what I should do.

  4. Hello there, I think I’m losing it. I haven’t seen my ex in 14 years and for the past 2 months he has been heavily on my mind. I think about him all day everyday and have constant dreams. One dream I had he was pushing his wife away as she tried to be affectionate. In the dreams he’s happy to see me and flirtatious. I am married and find it worrying to think about a person this much. Over the years, I haven’t thought of him that much as I moved on then all of a sudden I can’t get him out of my mind. What is going on? Help, please.

    • Hi, we dont answer questions in this public forum. You can reach us for a reading using either the Ether.com or click4advisor.com services. Or try our show on Weds nights on CBS Radio – we take a few free callers during the show.

  5. Help, I cant let go of my soulmate, he is deeply tangled in my soul, I try to get on with my life, have a boyfriend, but I just want to be free from the bondage. When we met we were lost in time and space for 2 days! We were married and together 14 years. One day he said I was his soulmate, the next, he moved in with a younger woman in which he is now married to. I was deeply hurt, he said he still loved me but couldnt love me so much anymore. My boyfriend is nice, handsome, and takes care of my son but he is not a soulmate, I would like to try to make it work and get my soulmate out of my dreams.

    • Hi Kristen,
      It takes time and time will help the process but it wont happen overnight. Also if you can think, really think, about how he made you feel when he left you and went to the other younger woman, and put that down on paper, and use your LOGICAL mind to look at that, see how it makes you feel, you will get over him a lot easier. Good luck!


Leave a Comment