You can’t pick or choose a soulmate. That is not up to you. You don’t get to decide what eye color your soulmate will have, how tall they will be, or anything else for that matter. You cannot just slap the soulmate label on any intense relationship you have either. Too many people decide that a dysfunctional relationship is a soulmate relationship. It is their way of explaining to anyone that will still listen why they remain in such a disastrous relationship where they are treated like crap. So stop trying to make the wrong person your soulmate.
There are many people who write us about dreams they have had of their “soulmate”. In their dream their soulmate was, for instance, a tall male with dark hair and eyes and his name was Michael. Now they are hell-bent on searching for their “soulmate”, the tall man with dark hair and dark eyes named Michael. Ok, there is a chance they may find their soulmate to be exactly that. But there is also a chance their soulmate may be an average height, blonde hair blue-eyed man named Steve.
The dream could have been about a soulmate from a past life, or in a life yet to come. It does not indicate it will be what their soulmate looks like in this lifetime. It could simply be that it was just a dream. Not a prophetic dream, just a dream. So be careful not to focus on what you think your soulmate will be like, as it may turn out they are nothing like you would imagine in your wildest dreams. Which, by the way, is usually the case.
Also bear in mind that not everyone you fall in love with is a soulmate. People often tell us how they had loved someone before they met their soulmate, but with their soulmate it was very different from all the rest. You can’t decide when and where you will meet them either.
Of course no one wants to leave something as important as that to the universe, but you have to. You can kick, scream, meditate, jump up and down, whatever you want, but the universe is ultimately in control of it. They simply will not let you choose a soulmate. It would be great if we could just dial 1-800-Soul-Mate and order one when we want one. But, sadly, you can’t, and yes, that does stink. What you can do is work on yourself before your soulmate comes along. There will be enough lessons you need to learn once your soulmate arrives, so continue right now on your spiritual path, knowing they will meet you somewhere along the way. Just remember, soulmates don’t grow on trees.