When Your Soulmate is Married to Someone Else

When you soulmate is married to someone else, you may very often feel as if your world is often falling apart. Your meeting was with great intensity. And you both recognize the connection. But you wonder if you will ever truly be able to be a couple. You aren’t looking to fall in love with some who is married, but you did.


Your soul connection is intense and you believe they complete you in some way. You wonder what their marriage is really like. Could they be at a point where they’re looking to get out of their marriage? Or are they just looking for an affair. They may have children together, a business together or have financial ties that are hard to unravel. You wonder if the universe has a wicked sense of humor and playing tricks on you. This person, you know is your soulmate, is unavailable. This is one of the most difficult dilemmas for soulmate relationship. You meet your soulmate, but your soulmate is married to someone else.

When your soulmate is married you don’t have a lot of options. You can either 1) have an affair or 2) keep them on the back burner until they are free. Each of these options run their individual risks.


If you enter into an affair, you may invest your emotions in this relationship. It could take months, years, or decades until your soulmate leaves their current partner. On the other hand, they many never divorce and you would be their secret lover for the rest of your life.

When Your Soulmate is Married to Someone Else
When Your Soulmate is Married to Someone Else

You hope one day they will find the courage to leave. They may tell you it’s the plan, but they could be lying. They might say they have an open marriage and it’s perfectly acceptable for you to be together because you’re soulmates. And since it’s an open marriage their partner won’t care. Before getting into an affair, hoping to get more down the line, you need to know how they feel about the situation. Do they really recognize a soulmate connection? And what course of action are they willing to take?

It has to go both ways or you shouldn’t even think of starting an affair. Before getting in over over your head and falling deeply in love, you need to think about what the future really holds for the two of you. You need to think about what could happen if everything works out. But you should also consider what could go wrong. Because this is where you will be truly challenged in this relationship.


Your next option will be to wait it out. Give it some time and see if their marriage thrives or ends without your involvement. Sometimes being involved with your soulmate keeps them in their marriage. Because they have it all. Even though you want to spend time with your soulmate, it actually enables them to stay married. They have the best of both worlds.

You certainly run the risk of them staying married longer or staying forever. Your soul connection may not have been your choice. But what you choose to do about a married soulmate, is up to you. There is a right and wrong path for every situation. If you’re in an affair, or contemplating getting into one, you need to make sure you choose the right path.


So why would God, the Universe or the Divine, really bring a married soulmate into your life? There are many reasons for this actually. And since soulmates are about life lessons and personal growth, it has something to do with an aspect of your lives that need assessing and resolving. You may think you’re ready for a truly committed relationship with someone. But when your soulmate is married, it makes it very difficult to have a committed relationship.

Perhaps you’re at a place in your life where you are not truly available for a relationship. So you attract someone who is not available either. On the other hand maybe you’re having a lesson on your own self worth, by refusing to allow yourself to be second fiddle. Perhaps this is a lesson in setting boundaries by refusing to be a booty call for your married soulmate because you just value yourself too much.

For the married soulmate, perhaps it’s to serve as the catalyst for change to expose the reality of their own life. If they’re miserable in their marriage, they should look closely and decide if they want to continue living a lie. If not, they can either end it to be with you, or decide to give their marriage everything to see if it can get any better. Whatever the cause, the crossing of your paths is not coincidence. There is a deeper meaning here for having a married soulmate in your life.

Do you have experiences with a married soulmate? We love hearing from you in our comments section below.

47 thoughts on “When Your Soulmate is Married to Someone Else”

  1. Hi,
    So I will share part of my story too as I found my soulmate.
    He know and I know that we are soulmates..he knew it straight away but I didn’t recognised what was going on when we met (it was on our 4th met) there was very strange day and the universe and sky wanted for us to know…so it was a huge…!!! Can’t tell the details…
    I didn’t realised that all this meant that the universe telling us we found each other…I found an article by accident that which explained everything we have ‘heard’ And experienced.
    He is married unfortunately. We met one year after our encounter…
    I was soooo gutted and he was and is still gutted but what we can do. Nothing really.
    Sometimes it’s hard because I think life it’s about living with the purpose of your life and soulmate is a source, our other half, any other man is just a ‘play-around’…
    It’s like I know for example that I was meant to be a writer and I work as a nanny so the nanny job it’s not my fulfilled job…if that makes sense.

    Sometimes it’s really hard as I when I hugged my last boyfriend I wished I was hugging my soulmate…I am not thinking about if I would Mamy to marry!? I can’t see standing by the alter with anyone else that my soulmate…
    Although as I mentioned he is married and I’m not wanting him to leave him marriage as he is catholic, and I am 36 and want to get married and have kids so I am sure I will find a man who can love me and respect me because I won’t stay single until whatever age and miss out out on life because my soulmate is married.
    Not sure why the universe have send me him as a married person but it’s ok. I’m trying to finite it out and just doing my thing.
    If he will come to my life as my boyfriend and husband as one point that would be just so beautiful otherwise, what can I do…nothing. I guess I can just be grateful for this.

    Sometimes I am allowing him to see me, but we never speak (we never spoke before…-long story and can’t tell more! Sorry )because when he knows I’m around his eyes sparkle and he just lights up and is just happy from inside!!!
    This is my gift from me to him.

    That’s all…
    Thank you for the article!
    Lots of love!

  2. [* Shield plugin marked this comment as “Trash”. Reason: Failed Bot Test (expired) *]
    I think my soul mate is my first love. My high school boyfriend. It’s been years since I’ve seen him or talked with him. Before this we were in and out of each others lives. Every time we reconnected it was on a different level than with anyone else before. He makes me happy. He makes me laugh. He makes me smile. I love him. I had a dream about him last night as I often do and it lead me to this website because I’m so torn as to why I still feel the way I do about him. He got married this past June. Before his wedding I kept hoping and wishing something would happen. He would reach out. He would seek me out. They would end it before the wedding. This didn’t happen. So now the man I believe is my soul mate is married to another woman. I’m stuck here thinking, am I crazy? What is wrong with me? Is this one sided? Does he dream about me? Does he wonder about me? Does he think of me? Am I ever going to be able to get rid of these feelings I have for me? Why would god do this? Should I have faith he’ll come back eventually? The 2 relationships I was in after high school, I thought of him. When both of them asked me to marry them (at different times of course) I had doubts and was hesitant because I thought of him. He has played a part in both relationships. They both knew that I loved him still. I don’t understand why my life in turning out this way? Why did he get to move on and get married but I’m still stuck in our love? I just don’t get it and I pray I either can let him go for good or that he gives me a sign that he feels the same way.

    • We don’t give private advice in the comments section please call us for a confidential soulmate psychic reading

  3. Well, this site is encouraging. I have never believed in soulmates, and the verdict is still out tbh. But something is going on. Was introduced to a girl recently, and I felt as though I didn’t know what I was looking at for a moment. Very difficult to put into words. I couldn’t take my eyes off of her. There is definitely an unexplainable, eerie, connection between us. I’ve never experienced anything like it. It scares the hell out of me. She has a fiance, and I have a girlfriend of 8 years. I’ve had crushes before, and this is no crush. The thought of not having her in my life is absolutely terrifying. We’ve only known each other for two weeks. It simply should not be this way! We attempt to get away and see each other whenever possible. We have spent an inordinate amount of time together over the past two weeks, and it feels like we were made for each other. There is no other way to put it. It’s uncanny. The topic of soulmates actually came up in conversation within the first couple of hours. I can’t remember what prompted it. What scares me the most, is that I feel like I have no choice whatsoever but to continue down this path knowing that it may destroy other people. All I know for sure, is that, if I lost her, I feel like I would be losing a part of myself. I have never felt this strongly about anything else ever in my 40 years. It is very unsettling. I really feel for others in this comment section who have much more difficult situations than mine. I wish you all the best.

    • I’m happy to hear your story…
      I think life is too short to be someone else that your other half.
      I would leave any relationship even if I would be with Prince William 🙂 for my soulmate. As your soulmate it’s the source of what is life about.
      If I feel like I was born to write books but I somehow ended up working in corporate, I would get the courage together and shake my life to its core so I can find my soulmate next to me from now on till the rest of my and his days.
      Other life would be just a duplicate of what you and your soulmate would be like. No matter if my No-soulmate relationship would be 8 years or a month.
      I would just ended. Simple as that.
      I’ve spend the last 15 years just strolling down my life, without much purpose so I’ve learned what the most important in this short yet beautiful life and love it’s all we need!!!!
      All the best.
      You are courageous!!!

  4. I was in the same situation and searching for people with same pan to see what they did, I. found a married twin flame!!! :((( As i read this all entries here, most of the twin flame MEN doesn’t recognize you! they are married first, then dey cant live theyr children.. as in my situation.. he told me he is married after we met. So i told him i will not be the scond woman in his life, and also i cant do something to a woman when i dont want to be cheted later in an marriage. now we are not talking since 6 moths, and he blocket me everywhere on 12.06.2019… i just wait.. i have done the right thing, and i have a clean karma! the crossing of our paths is not a coincidence ..
    i live in Türkiye.. but my heart is with all the seperetat twin flames around the world.. Love from İstanbul

  5. I have been married for 10 years and I will never leave my family, however, I’ve been with my soul mate for 10 years also. We lost connection 2 years after meeting because of distance and I was busy raising my kids and being a wife. In 2011 we reconnected and have been together since. There are no words to describe how I feel about him. It’s like the world stops when we are together, on a planet of 7+ billion people, its only us. It’s deeper than love, it’s way beyond that. I get chills thinking about him, us. On the outside looking in, people would think we must have marital problems but we don’t. We just happen to be soulmates that are married to other people. I can’t imagine life without him, its hurtful to think about. Even when we are apart, which is often(different states), it still feels like we are together. I can close my eyes and feel his touch, his kiss..I can feel him making love to me. The only promise we’ve ever made each other is that no matter what, we will always be together. We’ve never discussed leaving our families or any of that nonsense. I don’t even think we are meant to be in a “normal” relationship, I can’t imagine that, I can’t imagine living together or having kids…our situation is exactly what it is and will always be. I enjoyed reading this thread and wish all of you the very best.

  6. I have, what I feel, is an odd connection. We first met 15 years ago and had instant magnetism. I thought it was just me crushing on this incredibly handsome man in a new town I just moved to. I’d later find out the feeling was mutual. Over the course of the next 9 years, our paths were constantly crossing. Every time I could feel this intense desire for him, but not necessarily sexually. Just him. Then queue Facebook. He found me and added me. We began talking incessantly! Hours upon hours. Nightly. While he was home. Any and every topic was covered. He explained he had the same feelings as me at every interaction without me saying a word. He could recall every interaction, as could I. We’ve never had a sexual relationship. Over the years, if I need anything, he will drop what he’s doing and help. We often go for lunch dates and he always pays. He’s never shy about being seen with me in public. But he’s made no mention of leaving her. He’s told me he felt like he settled out of FOMO of having a family, so he married her. I met him 2 years afterwards. He said when he met me it felt like he’d met his soulmate but was scared to act on it. So here we are 15 years later, 3 kids for him, and 1 for me, still entangled in this magnetic relationship. Still always thinking about each other and still running into each other constantly inadvertently…. and I can’t tell anyone about it because over the years, our friend circles have also become majorly overlapped. *sigh…*

  7. I am a happily married 29 years old woman with two kids. One day I met some one and l just fall for him. I always want him to be happy. He is also married and I really like his wife because she is makes him happy. I really love him but it is such a positive kind of love that I am not possessive or jealous and I am happy that I have found him. We hardly see each other but I dont miss him because I feel we are one and distance doesnt matter. Love for him really cleansed me and I am so happy and optimistic now. I dont want to be in a romantic relationship with him because I have a very loving husband. I want to know whether he is my soul mate and whether he would me mine in next life. I love him so deeply that I will do anything for his happiness.

  8. When i started reading this story i was like i am reading my story..or talking to god…i am going through the same phase..i am in deep relationship with married man…i was waiting for his divorce..now as i m getting married to some other guy…its too tough situation.we both are suffering..he love me like anything.his married life is miserable.he is ready to marry me or live with me.but dont know how…so this story tough my heart ..made me feel that like me other people are in love with married soulmate..please suggest me tooo…

    • The article does give suggestions. If you want specific psychic advice based on your situation, create a click4advisor account and contact either Sarah Adelle or Sophia Elise as personal readings/advice are not given via blog comments.

  9. I’m with my soulmate (twin flame). We’ve been on and off for 7 years now. We’re both married with young kids. We got heavily involved in an affair the past year. He started telling me he’d leave his unhappy marriage in 15 years when kids are grown. I would leave my unhappy marriage for him within the next few years. He says he can’t. So I now will not sleep with
    him anymore. I hate the sneaking around. I was beginning to become very jealous of his wife. I hate myself for it. I refuse to compete with his wife for the next 15 years. We are in love with eachother. If he’s truly my soulmate (twin flame) he will never stop loving me. I grow angry that we can’t be together. I want to get some emotional distance so I can feel healthy again.

    • You keep writing soulmate (twinflame) as if they are the same thing, which they are not. Please read through our articles about the difference between them.

  10. I’d been thinking I was crazy until I read this article. I thought I was crazy in believing this man was my soulmate. But my heart knows it to be true. It hurts more than I ever thought possible that he’s married. His marriage is not a good one. And we’ve been carrying on an emotional affair. He doesn’t want to leave his wife though and doesn’t consider me an option. It’s been getting harder day in and day out because I want to tell him everything I feel, everything I know from divination readings I’ve had done from back before I even met him. But I can’t. I want us to have a life together… But the possibility doesn’t seem real. But we’re bound, connected. I feel it on a deep spiritual level and I’m stuck hoping and waiting. Not sure if I should move on or wait. And I so badly want to wait for him.

  11. Readings or advice are not given via blog comments. If you wish to speak with the advisors, contact them via their click4advisor buttons.

  12. I chose to be the other girl, I tried to get away from it a lot of times. Breaking up with him but I’m going crazy without him and end up coming back. I got pregnant, he told his wife about it and was about to divorce but I don’t know what happened and everything turned upside down. He avoided me and broke up with me, he told me he’s gonna continue marrying his wife. After 2 months they told me they’re gonna divorce if our child will be born. We have our daughter now (which he told me he wanted a daughter, a really nice coincidence right?). He sometimes answer my messages secretly through their office phone but his wife even put gps on his personal phone so he can’t really go and meet me. We’re gonna meet in court for paternal recognition because I believe it’s the best thing to do for my daughter. I believe we have the empathic/emotional connection upto now. It was gone for about a month or so but it came back. I don’t know if they are still going to divorce because they’re still together. I still love him even though he left me and did really awful things to my heart. I don’t know if our contract will be just like this or I should still wait. I somehow feel calm in a way my heart tells me everything will fall back into the right place but at the same time I’m so afraid of what if it will not. I’m so afraid. Really afraid.

  13. I am conflicted. I met my soulmate and I know its a fact because I have never connected with anyone like this before. I’ve been in love but I always had doubts and reservations. But with Chris it is different. His flaws if anything make me love him more. We met on world of Warcraft and we’re drawn instantly together, not romantically at first but when we met we became best friends and in a matter of days feelings began to develop, not feelings of love at the time but affection and contentment. It was kismet. It just kept growing. I have been in a rut for a very long time. I have been jobless and my self confidence was no existent. And since I found him I feel like a different person and everyone sees it. My newfound confidence helped me land a job and I don’t find myself as depressed, and yet at the same time I am still broken because he is married. She has cheated on him twice in his 6 years of marriage. They are now in a sexless, loveless, marriage of convenience, at least from his point of view. But when she cheated the second time and he threatened him with divorce, she threatened to kill herself. Now he won’t leave her because he is afraid she is serious and doesn’t want it on his conscience. i told him she is probably just using it to manipulate him into staying since he is the one who works and pays for her life. And that if she was serious that was still no reason to stay with her and instead he should seek professional help for her. But he won’t risk it. I have now distanced myself from him because no matter how many times we try to go back to when we were just friends, and try to shove our feelings aside. We always slip up and accidentally say something that is more than friendly. We have not slept together but we are insanely attracted to each other. I told him he has till Halloween to decide if he wants to be with me or not and that I will not be a mistress so he would have to leave her. I want him to be happy and I can’t stand to watch him kill both of our hearts by staying with her for this reason. If they had kids I might have been more understanding but they don’t. I feel guilty for essentially giving him an ultimatum but I can’t keep having what can only be considered as an emotional affair with a married man, soulmate or not. It is tearing me up inside. I just don’t know what to do.

    • Well rose, your story kind of explains me. I met a girl at my place of work and it was like 2 magnets standing next to each other, it was a very weird feeling. i have no idea if she felt the same. A month or so ago i had a dream about being in love with a redhead woman but couldn’t remember her face. The woman i met was a redhead. It’s been 4 nights now since i met her and i keep asking myself if she’ll come back around. Back to the interesting part… reading your comment is like reading a comment from my mystery woman in the future. I gave this woman the name Rose because of her red hair. My real name is Chris, and my wife is manipulative and has also threaten to kill herself if i left, shes also threaten to kill herself in front of my kids. I would to think that if i ever met my soulmate that i would choose her over my disgusting wife. I would like to know the outcome with your soulmate.

  14. As THE WIFE. My husband believed he met his soulmate during his midlife crisis. He had an affair and I found out. Divorced him and he went to be with her. SHe turned out to be a nightmare instead of his dream girl. It turns out all they really had was the fantasy illusion and excitement of cheating. It too 3 months after our separation for their relationship to break up. By then he lost his family as our two kids are disgusted in his actions and his fantasy. He lost his home also. The grass is greener where it’s watered.

    • So sorry for what you went through. This sounds like they weren’t really soulmates, they just used that as an excuse to do what they did.

      • I agree this is a strong possibility that they weren’t actually soul mates. My soul mates have never left my mind, my dreams, for 20 years and counting… It’s not about a physical connection, either, although that also has been a natural part of the connections, in my case and wasn’t always apparent right away.

  15. I found mine he is married. I fell for him as soon as he walked in the room. We are not trying to be in a relationship even though he also knows that he can’t live without me either so we are trying to make it work as friends. I have been with someone 12 years and he’s been with her about that much time too. I have tried to stop talking to him many times and when I go a long time without him In my life I feel like a piece of me is gone. Ive known him for 2 years now. Our lives and past are almost exactly alike and the problems in our relationships are that way too. Sometimes we go awhile without talking but I know that he’s there and he knows i will be there too. I don’t think soul mates have to be together I think if it’s meant to be they will be in your life some way or another.

  16. Wow, this crazy but a couple of months ago I went through something that made me sit down and meditate about my life and why things are going this way and it brought me back to the day I lost my virginity. Well a month ago I just felt I had to find him and I did the same day in like 2 minutes and we just connect instantly but he was married. Well he came to visit me the next day and it was like BOOM and I was like omg I just felt complete but he told me he wanted to fight for his marriage and we really don’t talk since that, but its like I can feel him a lot like anywhere and when I try to talk to somewhere else it don’t work. It just weird like he told me I was his first love and I never knew that. But I just feel like we will be together but I just need to take the time to focus on myself more. Thing is I’m not mad at him I’m more hurt because I let him go 2x and I just don’t want to let him go even if we are just friends, but I don’t know if that will be a good thing. I really don’t know where its going because he is married and we don’t talk and we didn’t have sex because he’s married but its like I have sex with him spiritually cause I can just feel him. Even though we’re not in a relationship I feel like I’m in a long distance relationship and if I sleep with someone I’m cheating. It feel really wierd. Can someone explain this

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  18. My story is almost identical to “L” above. We met under very unusual circumstances. I am 58 and he is 77! He’s been in a loveless marriage for most of the 50 years they’ve been together. It’s very sad. He’s in turmoil, thinking it would kill her for him to leave and he feels sorry for her. His age doesn’t bother me. I would feel blessed to be able to care for him if he needed, and, I feel he will one day. My therapist said I needed to write a book about our relationship and I probably should. It would truly be the sweetest and most amazing love story ever told. I feel a great sense of urgency to be with him at this late stage in his life. The problem is that he lives in England and I live in the United States. It is truly a bizarre situation. I’m planning to try to move there but it will take a year or two to accomplish. If he won’t leave her, I will live close enough to look after him if he’s ill. What a mess this is! I feel like I’m going crazy half the time. Any thoughts on this impossible situation?

    • Omg…Im in the same.situation. Im 33 and mine is in his 70s. Its crazy I said the same thing I dont care about age I love him but he is alsk married and wont leave his wife. Its horrible I feel like I cant go on and live in my own world. Hes in another state also. I dont understand why this happened how it did. I feel like hes my only one and I dont want anyone else.

  19. This is truly my story. I have stayed with my married soulmate for 10 years. I have finally grew to the point where I needed to love myself more than I love him. I have just become an enabler for him to stay. He had it made. He didn’t have to do a damn thing. But, I am the one who paid the price, “waiting” for change to happen. I’m the only one who could make that change happen by accepting the fact that he will never leave and I need to walk away. so, that is what I am doing. I want to find happiness again and I’m giving myself that chance to. I finally had the courage to say, enough is enough. I’m important and I deserve happiness too. It will come. I may have to stand alone for awhile but I have faith that my turn will come again one day, and this time the timing will be perfect, even if it’s with someone else. I hope and pray that anyone who finds themselves in this position, please find the courage to love yourself enough to let him go.

    • Everyones situation and relationship is different, what works for you may not work for someone else.

  20. Ahhh yes. All of the above. I am currently in this situation and I am ready to face the reality of the situation. When you take away the passion and the amazing connection you still are left with the reality of the affair. Affairs are filled with longing and waiting, hoping and dreaming, wishing, amazing highs and the deepest of lows. That is not a way to live as your life ceases to become authentic. You become different. I feel slightly hollow and feel like I am not myself. Soooo…I have made the decision to stop getting carried away with the highs and realise that I want something with stability. I am worth it!

    • Blessings to you Joanne for taking your own self worth and self esteem into consideration. You are on the right path!

    • It is a very painful situation indeed
      But amazingly I don’t want him to live sad life, we mostly tell each other the truth, we really enjoy just looking at each other and exchange gifts. We are both afraid of getting into deeper affairs. I can see sadness deep in heart, I’m sad too deep in my heart. Am in a relationship and he is married but I can’t stop feeling that someday he looks be mine
      I don’t know when or how! But I don’t want to ruin his marriage

  21. Unfortunately the ending of this story happens more often than not – as husbands, most of the time, but not always, will not leave their marriage for whatever reasons.. usually kids, finances or whatever other reasons they give. It is a very sad situation that we hear a bit too frequently. Hopefully you will find happiness in your life and if you can’t be with him in this lifetime, you guys will find each other in the next one.


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