When Your Soulmate is Married to Someone Else

When your soulmate is married to someone else, you may wonder if the universe is playing a sick joke on you.

Your meeting had so much intensity. The connection is undeniable to both of you. Everything would be perfect if one, or both of you, wasn’t MARRIED.

You weren’t looking to fall in love with some who is not single, but you did. Neither of you may have thought something like this could happen, but here you are.


Your soul connection is powerful and you believe they complete you. They have told you about their marriage. Spouses can grow apart and that’s what happened to them. Perhaps they married for the wrong reasons and it never was a good match. The questions begin to run through your mind.

Could they be at a point where they’re looking to get out of their marriage? Or are they just looking for an affair? Your soulmate may have many excuses as to why they haven’t left their current partner. They may have children together, a business together or have financial ties that are hard to unravel.

This person, you know is your soulmate, is unavailable. This is one of the most difficult dilemmas for soulmate relationship. You meet a soulmate, but they are married to someone else. Now what?

When your soulmate is married you don’t have a lot of options. You can either have an affair or keep them on the back burner until they’re free. Each of these options run their individual risks.


If you enter into an affair, you will invest your emotions and time in this relationship. It could take months, years, or decades until your soulmate leaves their current partner. On the other hand, they many never divorce and you will be their secret lover for a long time.

You hope one day they will find the courage to leave. They may tell you it’s the plan but they could be stringing you along. They may be fearful of the unpleasant experience of a divorce so they keep putting it off with excuses. You may be enabling them to stay by accepting these excuses for too long.

Before getting into an affair, hoping to get more down the line, you need to know how they feel about the situation. Do they really recognize a soulmate connection? And what course of action are they willing to take?

It has to go both ways or you shouldn’t even think of starting an affair. Before getting in over over your head, you need to think about what the future really holds for the two of you. You need to have some time frames discussed between the two of you. Plans should be made, not just always put on hold.

When Your Soulmate is Married to Someone Else
When Your Soulmate is Married to Someone Else


Your next option will be to wait it out. Stand on the sidelines. Give it some time and see if their marriage thrives or ends without your involvement.

Sometimes being involved with your soulmate keeps them in their marriage. Since they have it all, they feel no need to file for divorce. They are content with just an affair because they have you in their life. Entering into an affair can actually enable them to stay married.


So why would God, the Universe or the Divine, really bring a married soulmate into your life? Actually there are many reasons for this.

A soulmate brings about life lessons and personal growth. It has something to do with an aspect of your lives that need assessing and resolving. You may think you’re ready for a truly committed relationship with someone. If your soulmate is married, it makes it very difficult to have one.

Perhaps you’re at a place in your life where you’re not truly available for a relationship. So you attract someone who is not available either. On the other hand, maybe you’re having a lesson on your own self-worth, by refusing to allow yourself to be second fiddle.

Perhaps this is a lesson in setting boundaries by refusing to be a low priority for your married soulmate because you just value yourself too much. You may have to be strong and tell them no romantic relationship until they begin the process of ending their marriage.

For the married soulmate, perhaps it’s to serve as the catalyst for change and/or to expose the reality of their own life. If they’re miserable in their marriage, they should look closely and decide if they want to continue living a lie.

If not, they can either end it to be with you or decide to give their marriage a try to see if it can get any better. Whatever the cause, the crossing of your paths is not coincidence. There is a deeper meaning here for having a married soulmate in your life.

Do you have experiences with a married soulmate? We would love to hear from you in our comments section below.

Originally posted on 2012-07-03 @ 1:09 pm

52 thoughts on “When Your Soulmate is Married to Someone Else”

  1. I’m currently in a love affair. I am the mistress, the side piece, the other woman this situation. We work together, see each other more than he’s at home. We both have kids. I’m single, he’s married. We both have a spiritual connection and have had many deep conversations that I’ve never experienced. We also have great sex, which attributes to the insecurities to your situation. A lot of the time, as many do, I feel like I’m being used for sex, despite the connection we both seem to have.
    The hardest part is I’m the one enabling him to stay in his marriage. I didn’t give him a chance to tell me he’s leaving his wife or not becyo told him I don’t want him to. There’s two reasons:
    1) I recently ended my long term relationship badly and ran off with someone else completely. That relationship ended and I was left alone, with burned bridges and now my kids suffer because I didn’t suffer in my relationship with their dad. Because I went through that pain and remorse and guilt, I don’t want him to feel the same….so I tell him not to make that mistake.
    2) I’ve always been the type to hurt others before I could be hurt. I’d rather save myself the pain of him telling me he will never leave his wife for me versus me telling him he shouldn’t because it will benefit him.

    In the end, it’s my fault but we are now in a cross roads where he’s changing jobs and we will no longer see each other realistically. I am silently suffering heart break because I know I’m losing my soul mate, likely forever. I have to come to terms that we will never truly be involved in each other’s lives. I’ll never step parent his child and he will never step parent mine. I won’t be able to fall asleep next to him or wake up and make him coffee in the morning. We will never have that relationship and even if he did leave his wife, he’ll be too overwhelmed with stress and trauma, I won’t be what he wants or needs anyway.

    Moral of the story: life sucks. Love sucks.

    • Like you and so many. I am in a soulmate relationship for 10 years now. We met at work. He is a lic. Psychologist. lol…I was married but he was not. My marriage was not in a good way at all. But we had and still have a great daughter together she was 8 at the time.I did not want to take her through a divorce. My SM was divorced and dating this person at the time. We feel madly in love. We were and still are so in love in all the ways SMs are. I tried to get divorced in 2018 from my husband. My SM broke up with his girlfriend then too. We were actually together for about 4months as a couple. I was just strung out from all the years of fighting with my husband I could not allow myself the happiness I did so much deserved …we broke up as a result. I left my Job with my SM and got back with my husband . 3months later my husband was diagnosed with Early onsets Alzheimer’s. My SM went on to marry the girl He was dating. This all happened in a 8month period of time in 2018. I found out through FB. that he got married. I was devastated. We had zero contact for a whole year. I could not stop thinking about him the entire time. I was sick with depression. I had lost my soulmate , my chance at true love and to top it off I had no job and my husband was diagnosised with this awful sickness. I wanted to reach out so bad to him. But he was so upset with me when we broke it off …he ran back to his girlfriend and married her 4months later. He had blocked me out of his life. Finally we connected right before his one year. Anniversary. Boom and just like that I learned that he was yearning for me as well. We talked for hours catching up. Completed each others sentences, as if time never passed us by. That was in Dec. 2019. we have been in touch ever since on again off again… Seeing each other from time to time. And yes we are sexual involved earth shaking sex!!! but not often for the fear of his wife who was diagnosised with breast cancer in 2020. He has told me he has not plans of leaving her, but yes that he married the wrong person. My husband has declined much, and my roll is more of caregiver. It is sad. We never really worked on the marriage it was over years ago. And once he gets closer to the end I will have to put him into a facility. However my SM feels the need to be there with his wife as she tries to recover from hers cancer. And build a futrue with her. But they are in no way connected as we are. It all comes down to us not wanting to hurt anyone, and timing. but also fighting the same battle with our spouses. I tend to suffer from loneliness more then he. And everything is on his time because of his marriage. I love him and will never love again. We support each other through phone.calls and text. And the last time I saw him was for my birthday in May. I am only happy when I am with him. We just get each other. We are the best of friends. Its amazing how much we are connected and how strong we stay in love despite all hardships we have faces. I am 57 and want to have hopes of life one day with him. But in his words this its out life together! Sad but true!

      • I’m in a situation whereby i miss the guy i think is my Soulmate. We met beginning of April 2022 and at that time i was in a relationship with my boyfriend but my soulmate and i just connected the minute we saw each other and the more we communicated over the phone we connected even more. He works miles away from where i am but his home is close to mine since we also share one City. Then a week later i ended things with my boyfriend because i remembered that in our 2 years being in a relationship it was not happiness all the time but him cheating on me and always bickering. I decided to end things so that i could give my soulmate and i a chance because obviously we love each other. I then agreed to be his girlfriend finally he came home during Easter holidays and we had sex but sadly i didn’t enjoy the sexual encounter but i decided to at least give him another chance maybe he was nervous and all of that. Weeks later in the relationship i happened to miss my ex boyfriend a lot and the soulmate started boring me and even over the phone. So i decided to end things with the Soulmate and fix things with my ex boyfriend, i even blocked the soulmate everywhere he tried to reach out to me but i wasn’t there he eventually gave up. Now things aren’t so roses and flowers between me and my boyfriend so i ended things again with the boyfriend. 2 months later When i try to reach out to the soulmate he tells me that he has moved on and in a relationship with someone else . But when i question him about his feelings for me, he admits that he loves me but he does not want to hurt his current girlfriend, he also get excited about us having our own baby one day. But these days he is pushing me away he’s not picking up my calls and not talking to me after i asked him whether he wants me or not. He has shut me out ever since. But i feel like i needed to know where i stand with him because we were flirting all the time now that i questioned him he has pushed me away. I’m so depressed right now because i feel like now more than ever is the time for us to be together and love each other. I’m not wishing sone unfortunate between him and his girlfriend but i want him so badly and I’m sure now I’m over my ex boyfriend even though we still communicating. Please advice what should i do?

      • At the moment do nothing there is nothing you can do to change the situation = stop contacting him for now. If you would like personal guidance please arrange for a reading with us.

    • Cannot agree more. I am not sure if you found a resolution, but I am in this same situation.
      We both know that his marriage is not good, and he is not happy. Cannot take the next step thinking of the kids.
      But what am I to do? I am so hurt and lost. We are soul mates and we do and think everything alike. And a perfect couple if we were ever to be together.
      He keeps telling me I have to move on, as it is hurting me you see him with her. We live right next to each other. It is destiny that brought us together coming from so far places and living next to each other. There was always that string between us for 15 years everyone who knows us says, you both are so alike and compliment each other.
      Don’t know where it is taking me? What I should do?

      • this is a very tough situation – but he is choosing to stay in his unhappiness – the only thing you can do – is to let him stay in it. And that may require you to stop talking to him

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  3. I’m happy to hear your story…
    I think life is too short to be someone else that your other half.
    I would leave any relationship even if I would be with Prince William 🙂 for my soulmate. As your soulmate it’s the source of what is life about.
    If I feel like I was born to write books but I somehow ended up working in corporate, I would get the courage together and shake my life to its core so I can find my soulmate next to me from now on till the rest of my and his days.
    Other life would be just a duplicate of what you and your soulmate would be like. No matter if my No-soulmate relationship would be 8 years or a month.
    I would just ended. Simple as that.
    I’ve spend the last 15 years just strolling down my life, without much purpose so I’ve learned what the most important in this short yet beautiful life and love it’s all we need!!!!
    All the best.
    You are courageous!!!

    • We don’t give private advice in the comments section please call us for a confidential soulmate psychic reading

      • I love a girl and I haven’t told her but she sees it and I am happily married the problem is the feelings I have for her I have never felt like this before even in my marriage I can’t control my self around her no matter how hard worse I am a pastor
        What do I do. How do I stop this.

      • We can’t give you any personal advice in the comments section but we are available for private, confidential readings. Many times these connections are insane and hard to deal with. The only way to stop is to completely stop talking to her.

  4. I have, what I feel, is an odd connection. We first met 15 years ago and had instant magnetism. I thought it was just me crushing on this incredibly handsome man in a new town I just moved to. I’d later find out the feeling was mutual. Over the course of the next 9 years, our paths were constantly crossing. Every time I could feel this intense desire for him, but not necessarily sexually. Just him. Then queue Facebook. He found me and added me. We began talking incessantly! Hours upon hours. Nightly. While he was home. Any and every topic was covered. He explained he had the same feelings as me at every interaction without me saying a word. He could recall every interaction, as could I. We’ve never had a sexual relationship. Over the years, if I need anything, he will drop what he’s doing and help. We often go for lunch dates and he always pays. He’s never shy about being seen with me in public. But he’s made no mention of leaving her. He’s told me he felt like he settled out of FOMO of having a family, so he married her. I met him 2 years afterwards. He said when he met me it felt like he’d met his soulmate but was scared to act on it. So here we are 15 years later, 3 kids for him, and 1 for me, still entangled in this magnetic relationship. Still always thinking about each other and still running into each other constantly inadvertently…. and I can’t tell anyone about it because over the years, our friend circles have also become majorly overlapped. *sigh…*

  5. I am a happily married 29 years old woman with two kids. One day I met some one and l just fall for him. I always want him to be happy. He is also married and I really like his wife because she is makes him happy. I really love him but it is such a positive kind of love that I am not possessive or jealous and I am happy that I have found him. We hardly see each other but I dont miss him because I feel we are one and distance doesnt matter. Love for him really cleansed me and I am so happy and optimistic now. I dont want to be in a romantic relationship with him because I have a very loving husband. I want to know whether he is my soul mate and whether he would me mine in next life. I love him so deeply that I will do anything for his happiness.

  6. When i started reading this story i was like i am reading my story..or talking to god…i am going through the same phase..i am in deep relationship with married man…i was waiting for his divorce..now as i m getting married to some other guy…its too tough situation.we both are suffering..he love me like anything.his married life is miserable.he is ready to marry me or live with me.but dont know how…so this story tough my heart ..made me feel that like me other people are in love with married soulmate..please suggest me tooo…

    • The article does give suggestions. If you want specific psychic advice based on your situation, create a click4advisor account and contact either Sarah Adelle or Sophia Elise as personal readings/advice are not given via blog comments.

  7. I’m with my soulmate (twin flame). We’ve been on and off for 7 years now. We’re both married with young kids. We got heavily involved in an affair the past year. He started telling me he’d leave his unhappy marriage in 15 years when kids are grown. I would leave my unhappy marriage for him within the next few years. He says he can’t. So I now will not sleep with
    him anymore. I hate the sneaking around. I was beginning to become very jealous of his wife. I hate myself for it. I refuse to compete with his wife for the next 15 years. We are in love with eachother. If he’s truly my soulmate (twin flame) he will never stop loving me. I grow angry that we can’t be together. I want to get some emotional distance so I can feel healthy again.

    • You keep writing soulmate (twinflame) as if they are the same thing, which they are not. Please read through our articles about the difference between them.

  8. I’d been thinking I was crazy until I read this article. I thought I was crazy in believing this man was my soulmate. But my heart knows it to be true. It hurts more than I ever thought possible that he’s married. His marriage is not a good one. And we’ve been carrying on an emotional affair. He doesn’t want to leave his wife though and doesn’t consider me an option. It’s been getting harder day in and day out because I want to tell him everything I feel, everything I know from divination readings I’ve had done from back before I even met him. But I can’t. I want us to have a life together… But the possibility doesn’t seem real. But we’re bound, connected. I feel it on a deep spiritual level and I’m stuck hoping and waiting. Not sure if I should move on or wait. And I so badly want to wait for him.

  9. Readings or advice are not given via blog comments. If you wish to speak with the advisors, contact them via their click4advisor buttons.

  10. I chose to be the other girl, I tried to get away from it a lot of times. Breaking up with him but I’m going crazy without him and end up coming back. I got pregnant, he told his wife about it and was about to divorce but I don’t know what happened and everything turned upside down. He avoided me and broke up with me, he told me he’s gonna continue marrying his wife. After 2 months they told me they’re gonna divorce if our child will be born. We have our daughter now (which he told me he wanted a daughter, a really nice coincidence right?). He sometimes answer my messages secretly through their office phone but his wife even put gps on his personal phone so he can’t really go and meet me. We’re gonna meet in court for paternal recognition because I believe it’s the best thing to do for my daughter. I believe we have the empathic/emotional connection upto now. It was gone for about a month or so but it came back. I don’t know if they are still going to divorce because they’re still together. I still love him even though he left me and did really awful things to my heart. I don’t know if our contract will be just like this or I should still wait. I somehow feel calm in a way my heart tells me everything will fall back into the right place but at the same time I’m so afraid of what if it will not. I’m so afraid. Really afraid.

  11. I am conflicted. I met my soulmate and I know its a fact because I have never connected with anyone like this before. I’ve been in love but I always had doubts and reservations. But with Chris it is different. His flaws if anything make me love him more. We met on world of Warcraft and we’re drawn instantly together, not romantically at first but when we met we became best friends and in a matter of days feelings began to develop, not feelings of love at the time but affection and contentment. It was kismet. It just kept growing. I have been in a rut for a very long time. I have been jobless and my self confidence was no existent. And since I found him I feel like a different person and everyone sees it. My newfound confidence helped me land a job and I don’t find myself as depressed, and yet at the same time I am still broken because he is married. She has cheated on him twice in his 6 years of marriage. They are now in a sexless, loveless, marriage of convenience, at least from his point of view. But when she cheated the second time and he threatened him with divorce, she threatened to kill herself. Now he won’t leave her because he is afraid she is serious and doesn’t want it on his conscience. i told him she is probably just using it to manipulate him into staying since he is the one who works and pays for her life. And that if she was serious that was still no reason to stay with her and instead he should seek professional help for her. But he won’t risk it. I have now distanced myself from him because no matter how many times we try to go back to when we were just friends, and try to shove our feelings aside. We always slip up and accidentally say something that is more than friendly. We have not slept together but we are insanely attracted to each other. I told him he has till Halloween to decide if he wants to be with me or not and that I will not be a mistress so he would have to leave her. I want him to be happy and I can’t stand to watch him kill both of our hearts by staying with her for this reason. If they had kids I might have been more understanding but they don’t. I feel guilty for essentially giving him an ultimatum but I can’t keep having what can only be considered as an emotional affair with a married man, soulmate or not. It is tearing me up inside. I just don’t know what to do.

    • Well rose, your story kind of explains me. I met a girl at my place of work and it was like 2 magnets standing next to each other, it was a very weird feeling. i have no idea if she felt the same. A month or so ago i had a dream about being in love with a redhead woman but couldn’t remember her face. The woman i met was a redhead. It’s been 4 nights now since i met her and i keep asking myself if she’ll come back around. Back to the interesting part… reading your comment is like reading a comment from my mystery woman in the future. I gave this woman the name Rose because of her red hair. My real name is Chris, and my wife is manipulative and has also threaten to kill herself if i left, shes also threaten to kill herself in front of my kids. I would to think that if i ever met my soulmate that i would choose her over my disgusting wife. I would like to know the outcome with your soulmate.

  12. As THE WIFE. My husband believed he met his soulmate during his midlife crisis. He had an affair and I found out. Divorced him and he went to be with her. SHe turned out to be a nightmare instead of his dream girl. It turns out all they really had was the fantasy illusion and excitement of cheating. It too 3 months after our separation for their relationship to break up. By then he lost his family as our two kids are disgusted in his actions and his fantasy. He lost his home also. The grass is greener where it’s watered.

    • So sorry for what you went through. This sounds like they weren’t really soulmates, they just used that as an excuse to do what they did.

      • I agree this is a strong possibility that they weren’t actually soul mates. My soul mates have never left my mind, my dreams, for 20 years and counting… It’s not about a physical connection, either, although that also has been a natural part of the connections, in my case and wasn’t always apparent right away.

  13. I found mine he is married. I fell for him as soon as he walked in the room. We are not trying to be in a relationship even though he also knows that he can’t live without me either so we are trying to make it work as friends. I have been with someone 12 years and he’s been with her about that much time too. I have tried to stop talking to him many times and when I go a long time without him In my life I feel like a piece of me is gone. Ive known him for 2 years now. Our lives and past are almost exactly alike and the problems in our relationships are that way too. Sometimes we go awhile without talking but I know that he’s there and he knows i will be there too. I don’t think soul mates have to be together I think if it’s meant to be they will be in your life some way or another.

  14. Wow, this crazy but a couple of months ago I went through something that made me sit down and meditate about my life and why things are going this way and it brought me back to the day I lost my virginity. Well a month ago I just felt I had to find him and I did the same day in like 2 minutes and we just connect instantly but he was married. Well he came to visit me the next day and it was like BOOM and I was like omg I just felt complete but he told me he wanted to fight for his marriage and we really don’t talk since that, but its like I can feel him a lot like anywhere and when I try to talk to somewhere else it don’t work. It just weird like he told me I was his first love and I never knew that. But I just feel like we will be together but I just need to take the time to focus on myself more. Thing is I’m not mad at him I’m more hurt because I let him go 2x and I just don’t want to let him go even if we are just friends, but I don’t know if that will be a good thing. I really don’t know where its going because he is married and we don’t talk and we didn’t have sex because he’s married but its like I have sex with him spiritually cause I can just feel him. Even though we’re not in a relationship I feel like I’m in a long distance relationship and if I sleep with someone I’m cheating. It feel really wierd. Can someone explain this

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  16. My story is almost identical to “L” above. We met under very unusual circumstances. I am 58 and he is 77! He’s been in a loveless marriage for most of the 50 years they’ve been together. It’s very sad. He’s in turmoil, thinking it would kill her for him to leave and he feels sorry for her. His age doesn’t bother me. I would feel blessed to be able to care for him if he needed, and, I feel he will one day. My therapist said I needed to write a book about our relationship and I probably should. It would truly be the sweetest and most amazing love story ever told. I feel a great sense of urgency to be with him at this late stage in his life. The problem is that he lives in England and I live in the United States. It is truly a bizarre situation. I’m planning to try to move there but it will take a year or two to accomplish. If he won’t leave her, I will live close enough to look after him if he’s ill. What a mess this is! I feel like I’m going crazy half the time. Any thoughts on this impossible situation?

    • Omg…Im in the same.situation. Im 33 and mine is in his 70s. Its crazy I said the same thing I dont care about age I love him but he is alsk married and wont leave his wife. Its horrible I feel like I cant go on and live in my own world. Hes in another state also. I dont understand why this happened how it did. I feel like hes my only one and I dont want anyone else.

  17. This is truly my story. I have stayed with my married soulmate for 10 years. I have finally grew to the point where I needed to love myself more than I love him. I have just become an enabler for him to stay. He had it made. He didn’t have to do a damn thing. But, I am the one who paid the price, “waiting” for change to happen. I’m the only one who could make that change happen by accepting the fact that he will never leave and I need to walk away. so, that is what I am doing. I want to find happiness again and I’m giving myself that chance to. I finally had the courage to say, enough is enough. I’m important and I deserve happiness too. It will come. I may have to stand alone for awhile but I have faith that my turn will come again one day, and this time the timing will be perfect, even if it’s with someone else. I hope and pray that anyone who finds themselves in this position, please find the courage to love yourself enough to let him go.

    • Everyones situation and relationship is different, what works for you may not work for someone else.

  18. Ahhh yes. All of the above. I am currently in this situation and I am ready to face the reality of the situation. When you take away the passion and the amazing connection you still are left with the reality of the affair. Affairs are filled with longing and waiting, hoping and dreaming, wishing, amazing highs and the deepest of lows. That is not a way to live as your life ceases to become authentic. You become different. I feel slightly hollow and feel like I am not myself. Soooo…I have made the decision to stop getting carried away with the highs and realise that I want something with stability. I am worth it!

    • Blessings to you Joanne for taking your own self worth and self esteem into consideration. You are on the right path!

    • It is a very painful situation indeed
      But amazingly I don’t want him to live sad life, we mostly tell each other the truth, we really enjoy just looking at each other and exchange gifts. We are both afraid of getting into deeper affairs. I can see sadness deep in heart, I’m sad too deep in my heart. Am in a relationship and he is married but I can’t stop feeling that someday he looks be mine
      I don’t know when or how! But I don’t want to ruin his marriage

  19. Unfortunately the ending of this story happens more often than not – as husbands, most of the time, but not always, will not leave their marriage for whatever reasons.. usually kids, finances or whatever other reasons they give. It is a very sad situation that we hear a bit too frequently. Hopefully you will find happiness in your life and if you can’t be with him in this lifetime, you guys will find each other in the next one.


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