When will my soulmate change? How long will it take my soulmate to change?
How long will it take for them to commit? When will my soulmate accept our connection?
When will we be in a good relationship? How long will it be until my soulmate stops sabotaging our relationship?
When will they express their true feelings for me?
We get questions from clients just like these every single day. Most of our clients are tired of waiting for their partner to change. Yet they have done nothing to change anything about themselves.
Is it any wonder why nothing is different?
WHAT’S YOUR CONTRIBUTION TO THE PROBLEM?
Write it all out of you have to. Shift your attention to yourself and see what needs to be transformed in your own life.
For instance, let’s say you want them to treat you with more respect. Instead of waiting for them to change, stand up for yourself. Don’t allow your soulmate, or anyone else for that matter, to disrespect you.
Take a stand. Create boundaries. Give out some real consequences when they are disrespectful to you. Leave the conversation, leave their house or even threaten to leave the relationship. If it has gotten too bad, you may have to leave the relationship for a bit and take a break.
CHANGE: IT TAKES TWO
The problems in relationships go both ways. You also play a part in it. Without fixing what you broke, the entire puzzle won’t be complete. Both of you must be in sync and both of you need to do something. You may think you’ve done everything you can. But in reality, you’re just like them, doing the same things you always do.
You can’t make the changes you need to make, and neither can they, unless you commit fully to changing. Going through the motions is like going on a diet. When you lose the weight, you go off the diet. The weight them comes back.
It’s the same thing with your relationship triggers, reactions, actions and behaviors. You have to make a permanent life change. Just like you want them to. Be very careful to not slide back into old patterns.
The first part of your change is to let go of your old thoughts, habits, triggers and behaviors. It’s a perfect time to begin to let go of the past. Today is a new day. Give yourself a new outlook and perspective. And a new plan of action.
When you start seeing the changes in you that bring about positive changes in them, it will reinforce and validate what you’re doing. This will give you fuel to keep going.
Change takes time, but all it takes to get things started is a step in the right direction.
Originally posted on 2012-07-02 @ 4:10 pm