If He is My Soulmate, Then Why am I Miserable?

If he is my soulmate, then why am I miserable, is a thought many soulmates have on a daily basis. Many people believe soulmate relationships are those forged with long walks on the beach, candlelit dinners for two and endless nights of passionate sex. Unfortunately, this is highly unrealistic. We fantasize that one day our long missing soulmate will show up at our front door, shouting those words we long to hear, “You complete me!” Again, this is just wishful thinking.

Soulmate relationships are not intended to be a walk in the park. If you are in a soulmate relationship, you might be facing some challenges. Your soulmate is in your life to encourage personal growth and spiritual awakening. This growth will take strength, courage and fortitude. Soulmate life lessons can be difficult. Unfortunately, they have to be. It seems, we silly humans, learn through painful experiences. Mom told you not to touch the stove, but we bet you did. 🙂

If He is My Soulmate, Then Why am I Miserable?

If He is My Soulmate, Then Why am I Miserable?

Many people in soulmate relationships often described having to bear intolerable suffering because their soulmate is mistreating them. It is a giant emotional roller-coaster ride. On a daily basis they wonder if their soulmate will break up with them. They describe enduring weeks, months and sometimes years of unhappiness and destructive behavior with the person they love acting out, mistreating them and otherwise making their lives miserable. The first six months may have been wonderful, but the remaining months, and in some cases years, not so much. They complain that no matter what they do to improve the relationship, it fails, because their romantic partner is unwilling to discuss, share or listen to ideas and suggestions to make it better.

Why do they continue stay in such horrible situations? More often than not, the reply we hear is, “Because he is my soulmate.” Some people believe they have no choice but to stay in a relationship due to their soulmate contract. Even though they have tried to detach from the relationship, they insist the connection reels them back in. They feel it is their purpose to love this person, even though they are mistreated, disappointed and unfulfilled. Does the Divine truly want you to be mistreated, under-valued and disappointed in your relationships? Does the Universe want you to stay in situations that have become disempowering, miserable unfullfilling and even dangerous? Not so much! Perhaps it is time to compare this relationship to what is defined in your soulmate contract.

Being in a soulmate relationship does not give someone free license to mistreat, under-value and abuse you! If it were not a soulmate relationship, you probably would have much less tolerance. So why do you allow someone to treat you that way? “Because they are my soulmate”, is not the right answer! What are you supposed learn from this soulmate relationship? It is quite possible that the lesson is about staying in your power, or taking your power back from a dysfunctional relationship that leaves you miserable. Not use the soulmate excuse to stay stuck. Then again, the lesson could be something else entirely.

You do not have to stay in a soulmate relationship it is no longer serving you. You have agreed to provide life lessons and personal growth experiences for your soulmate. Perhaps your soulmate contract states you are to end relationships where you feel taken for granted and unloved. Maybe you are meant to walk away from a relationship with someone who regularly practices infidelity. You are more than likely supposed to end a soulmate relationship where you have been a booty-call for several years, although you may truly love for that person. You can still love them, just love them from afar.

Do you think your soulmate contract requires you to stay in a relationship that leaves you feeling unhappy? Why would the Divine indefinitely subject you to a life of misery? They won’t. You can, however, allow yourself to stay stuck until you realize you have had enough. When the Universe wants us to learn a lesson, we will learn it, one way or another. We may go kicking and screaming through that lesson, but we will learn it. There is nothing to be gained from staying in a relationship that leaves you unhappy and depressed, except more unhappiness and depression. The Universe does not want us to be martyrs for love. The Divine wants us to live, love, laugh and evolve. Exercise your own individual free will, and get the heck out of there.

If He is My Soulmate, Then Why am I Miserable?

If He is My Soulmate, Then Why am I Miserable?

You have to assess the situation fairly and decide if this relationship truly works for you. If it does not, it is time to end it. This does not mean you are walking away from your soulmate contract, it means you have completed it and ready to move on. If you are giving your own personal power away day after day to someone who is not stepping up to the plate take your power back! If he makes you feel like crap because he does not call when he says he will, does not spend quality time with you or only sees you for sex, you can put an end to it. The fine print of your soulmate contract is probably in front of you, but are you reading it correctly?

Here, is the real dilemma. If you continue to stay in a relationship that is making you unhappy and disempowered, you are directly working against your destiny. If you stay stuck in that space, you will get that same life lesson again, in a different way, with a different soulmate, because you did not get it the first time. You can end the relationship, completing your soulmate contract, by taking the steps you need to take for your own personal happiness and fulfillment. Many soulmate relationships are to teach unconditional love, detachment and patience. You can still love someone unconditionally without being in a relationship with them.

For example, let’s say you decide to stay in a relationship with someone who is cheating on you, because you believe you are learning unconditional love. What about loving yourself?  The cheating soulmate will probably end the relationship with you anyway, leaving you heart-broken. After several years of healing, you will meet another soulmate, and the entire cycle starts again. You will still have that life lesson, just with a different soulmate.

You do not have to be a suffering martyr to a soulmate relationship if you feel abused, degraded or unhappy. If you find yourself in this situation, end the relationship, and the karmic cycle between you. You have probably been dancing this karmic dance for centuries, over and over playing different roles with each other. Learn the lesson. Get off the roller coaster. Exercise your free will. Take your power back.



  1. I am starting to wish I could break the connection between us. Its been 3 years of one thing after the other.

  2. Pingback: Is Life Complete Without Your Soulmate? -

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