Dark Night of the Soul and Soulmate Relationships

A dark night of the soul is often considered to be a crisis point in one’s relationship with the Universe. The ultimate outcome for a dark night of the soul, is union with the Divine.

To reach that union, however, one must travel through the darkness. And in doing so one will have a dark night of the soul experience. When we journey through a dark night experience, we may often feel abandoned by the universe or separated from the Divine.


We may feel our prayers go unanswered. We believe the universe doesn’t hear us and others may disregard us. It’s a time of adversity and suffering. The dark night of the soul represents darkness we must endure to reach the union with the Divine. It hits us when we’re at rock bottom and have nowhere else to look, but up. Pulling ourselves up by the bootstraps and getting on with our lives creates the journey back to the Divine. And this is where we will see the proverbial light at the end of the tunnel.

In a real dark night of the soul it is always three o’clock in the morning — F. Scott Fitzgerald

Many people in soulmate relationships can feel they’re going through a dark night of the soul. A separation from a soulmate, or ending of a soulmate relationship, feels like a dark night of the soul experience. You may feel as if your world is falling apart. It seems you won’t be able endure the heartache and heartbreak you feel when you lose a soulmate.

When your soulmate leaves you, ends the relationship or tells you they need a break from the relationship, you feel the rug ripped out from beneath you. You might even feel your heart’s been ripped out. Some of these endings though are temporary. But sadly some of them may be permanent.

A dark night of the soul in a soulmate relationship can have several layers.

Dark Night of the Soul and Soulmate Relationships
Dark Night of the Soul and Soulmate Relationships

You may experience it while dealing with a soulmate separation or ending of a soulmate relationship. During this time you will feel and mourn the loss of your soulmate. Instead of getting on with your life you might find yourself in a deep depression. You may resort to melancholy and obsessing over and over again about your soulmate returning to you. You might forgo paying bills, taking care of the yard and failing to do the things you normally would in taking good care of yourself.

And more than likely you will cry out to God, the Universe and all your friends, to try and understand why this is happening to you. This is part of the process because it will draw you closer to the Universe. The hardship of the relationship is the thing that brings you closer to the divine.


Soulmate relationships, as we write about time and again, are about personal and spiritual growth. Unfortunately most folks don’t focus on personal growth when everything is wonderful. It takes hitting rock bottom, or feeling as if you’ve lost everything, to make someone cry out to the Universe for help. You cry, you pray, you cry again and pray some more. This is the experience that allows us to have the union with the Divine. And it allows you to surrender it all to the Universe, because you can’t take anymore. It’s what will ultimately allow you to find peace.

There are times when a soulmate returns to create a fresh start and new beginning. And the memories of that dark night are still present. It might have been a time of loneliness and isolation and of deep despair. But during that time, you grew in some way. There had to be growth on some level during this dark night of the soul.

It’s perhaps the very thing you need to work on and address before the two of you could reunite and grow together as a couple. Your soulmate had to learn something as well and probably had their own dark night experience. The point is, you both evolved through this separation and can now embrace your relationship from a higher perspective. You met the Divine on your journey and now the relationship will be stronger, better and more mature.

Excerpt from The Dark Night of the Soul – Loreena McKennitt

Night thou was my guide
oh night more loving than the rising sun
Oh night that joined the lover
to the beloved one
transforming each of them into the other

Within my pounding heart
which kept itself entirely for him
He fell into his sleep
beneath the cedars all my love I gave
And by the fortress walls
the wind would brush his hair against his brow
And with its smoothest hand
caressed my every sense it would allow

I lost myself to him
and laid my face upon my lovers breast
And care and grief grew dim
as in the mornings mist became the light
There they dimmed amongst the lilies fair


Originally posted on 2012-06-21 @ 7:11 pm

9 thoughts on “Dark Night of the Soul and Soulmate Relationships”

  1. I had no idea this was even a thing! I stumbled upon this on accident. (I guess there are no accidents in life)

  2. I have FUCKED up many times, in my relationship which caused myself to lose him for good, he kept coming back after messing up countless times. Now he says he’s done for good, he says he can’t see me the same or ever take me back. However he’s my soulmate. Will he ever take me back?

  3. I met my soulmate 2y ago but separated in July. He gave me unconditional love but finally he decided to stop our relationship. He said he still loved me. He believe that we would be untied if we are destined.


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