Letting go of a soulmate relationship is easier said than done.
When it comes to soulmate relationships, instead of letting go, people usually obsess and dwell on their soulmate.
It’s understandable that when a break-up first occurs, people feel they should hold on. Hoping, of course, that there’s still a chance to work things out. But if many months, or years, without any communication has gone by, the excuse for not letting go disappears.
It’s one thing to leave the door slightly ajar should they come back. But it’s another to not allow anyone else through the door because you’re waiting for them to return. You should not put yourself in limbo, relinquishing control to your soulmate. You don’t have to let go of your desire to want them back. What you have to let go of is the negative behaviors you’re inflicting on yourself.
LETTING GO OF A SOULMATE IS CHALLENGING
When a soulmate relationship ends, dwelling and obsessing actually keeps a person from getting closure. It may be all in their head or heart, but you need to find a way to focus elsewhere. When you fail to let go, and instead put your time, energy and effort into them, you’re focusing on their life. You aren’t focusing on your own.
Finding out what they’re doing with their lives, if they’re dating or in a relationship, or what they do in the evenings is self torture. You just keep reopening a wound. Stop checking their social media, and being a voyeur into their life. Realistically you’re no longer part of their life, at least not right now. But you’ve made them part of yours by watching them like you would a soap opera. You’re invested in what is going on in their world.
Letting go doesn’t mean giving up forever. It’s simply acknowledging that for right now you’re on your own. You must live a life without your soulmate in it, and you can. Take it one day at a time. Sure it’s hard, but you’re making it harder on yourself by not letting go. If it were up to you they’d be back in your life right now. But it’s not up to you. It’s up to them. And that’s where free will comes in.
DO YOU WANT JOY OR MISERY?
You can sit and wait for them to come back and be miserable the entire time. Or, you can use that same time to find some joy in life. All the time you spend thinking, worrying, crying and playing detective would be better served doing something you enjoy. Are you actually getting any joy focusing on them? We doubt it!
The people who have a hard time letting go, or choosing not to let go, seem to be unhappy folks. Why be one of them? Everyday it will get a little bit better and easier. So start today with the first steps of moving forward.
When thoughts of them come into your head, don’t dwell on them. Instead try and push them out by thinking of something else. Add some enjoyable activities to your life to keep your mind busy. Additionally, try to find some challenging activities that require your full attention. Make it all about YOU, not all about THEM.
WHAT MESSAGE AM IS SENDING BY LETTING GO?
Some people tell us that by letting go they’re sending a message to the universe they no longer want their soulmate in their lives.
This is not true.
You’re sending the message to the universe you realize you have no control over the situation. You’re leaving the power where it lies, outside yourself. Replace your romantic idealism over the situation with reality.
Why sit there and tell everyone you can’t find a way of letting go because your soulmate was so funny, cute, charming or whatever? You only concentrate on the good stuff. The bad stuff caused the break-up, not the good stuff.
So stop playing up their good side, and face their bad side. You can’t go back in time and do things differently. Nor can you go back in time and change what they do. It happened, and you must deal with it.
You’re already without your soulmate and surviving. So you should know you can be OK without them. You may not want to, but you can. But look at how you’re surviving. Isn’t there a better way?
Even if your soulmate comes back, do you think they’ll appreciate or feel bad for what you went through? Not really. So why are you doing this to yourself? You won’t get rewarded for it, so why do it?
A soulmate would actually be more impressed, and respect you more, if you’re stronger and more empowered. It could be one of your soulmate lessons.
ACCEPTANCE COMES FIRST
To let go you have to first accept that your life, right now, is without them. If your soulmate returns or not, is not up to you. Your soulmate really holds all the cards. When you get past that, you can begin to focus on what you can control versus what you can’t . And you’ll feel stronger, as opposed to weaker.
When people avoid letting go of a soulmate, they feel less and less powerful.
This is a vicious cycle. Start filling up the time you would spend with your soulmate. Replacing them in your life is a great way to begin letting go. Start the process of letting go, and allow yourself to find happiness again in your life. And remember, letting go doesn’t mean you let go of them entirely. You can want them back, you just won’t torture yourself until they do.