Trying to have a relationship with an unavailable man can be frustrating, and next to impossible. If the guy you are seeing is too busy with his job, hobbies, family, friends and other extra-curricular activities, he is quite possibly an unavailable man. Although you have all the time in the world to spend with him, he is not making time for you nor making you a priority in his life. We understand that his job and 6-figure income are his livelihood and appreciate the fact that you cut him some slack where work is concerned. But if he is spending his evenings at happy hour, watching sporting events and playing softball, what are you doing? Most of his weekend are spent fishing, hunting and engaging in other male bonding activities, while you are left home alone. Doing nothing. You are available, he is not.
You are always there for him because you are willing to adjust your schedule; this relationship is important to you. You may feel a super connection to your unavailable man which is what allows you to stay in this ‘relationship’. And it is a relationship, just a dysfunctional one. Now we are not saying this unavailable man does not want to be with you, he just may not want to spend a lot of time with you. So what are some of the signs allowing you to see if you are with an unavailable man?
Signs of an Unavailable Man
- An unavailable man will have time to go to dinner with co-workers, friends and family, but be too busy to take you to dinner. The two of your order take-out and eat-in, or you cook dinner for him, because you have the time.
- You make excuses for your unavailable man, telling your family and friends that he has a hectic schedule, an important project or is expanding his business.
- An unavailable man will call you at midnight, after he has been out cavorting with his buddies, and want to come over to spend the night.
- An unavailable man will take vacations with his buddies, but ask you to take care of his dog and water his plants while he is away. You might get a t-shirt.
- If you ask an unavailable man to attend a function with you, such as work party, event or wedding, he will be too busy or has to work. You attend the event solo and tell everyone how busy your unavailable man is.
- An unavailable man will tell you everything that is occurring in his life, but seldom ask what is happening in yours.
- An unavailable man will spend time with his children, because being a father is important to him. By the same token, being a man, and a boyfriend/husband should be important to him as well.
- He makes plans with you to go to the movies, to dinner, to the park, heck..anywhere.. only to call just beforehand to tell you something has come up and he can’t make it OR just is a no-show, leaving you wondering where he is since he does not answer his phone or return texts. You just figure he is too busy to make it.
- You call and text but he doe not return them, but you see him busy on Facebook and Twitter.
Will he ever make time for you? Will he become more available to you? Don’t just think the answer has to be yes, because it could just as easily be no. Clearly you should be doing something to engage your time and energy while he is off engaging his. Are you learning, growing and evolving? Are you taking some classes and spending time with your friends? You feel you know the Universe, God, the Divine brought the two of you together for a reason! But what is it? There is a reason this unavailable man is in your life at this moment. Discover it, grow from it.