A soulmate contract is an agreement between you and soulmate. If you have more than one soulmate, you will have several contracts. It’s the commitment you make with them to provide some valuable life lessons. And these lessons will bring spiritual growth and define your character.
SOULMATE LESSONS ARE NOT FOR THE WEAK
Whenever we’re working to define our character, it takes strength, courage and fortitude. Soulmate life lessons are very difficult. Unfortunately they have to be, because as humans we generally learn through painful experiences. Many people in soulmate relationships describe to us what they perceive as intolerable suffering because their soulmate is mistreating them.
They often describe the relationship as a giant emotional roller-coaster ride. Some experience fear on a daily basis, wondering if their soulmate will break-up with them. They describe enduring weeks, months and sometimes years of unhappiness and bad behavior with their soulmate acting out, mistreating them and otherwise making their lives miserable.
SOME SOULMATE RELATIONSHIPS ARE VERY PAINFUL
We ask why they stay in such horrible situations. Their usual reply is because it’s a soulmate relationship. They believe they have no choice because of the soulmate contract. They insist it’s about the connection. And even though they try to detach from the relationship, their soulmate keeps reeling them back in.
Often they feel it’s their purpose to accept their soulmate’s behavior. They allow their soulmate to mistreat and disappoint them, just because there’s a soul connection. Often they give a soulmate much more slack than they would anyone else. So do you think for one minute, the Divine really wants us to be miserable? Does it make sense to stay in situations that become difficult, dangerous and even life threatening? Not so much.
A SOULMATE CONTRACT DEFINES YOUR PURPOSE
A soulmate is obviously in your life for a reason. The purpose is to grow and evolve from your experiences with them. For example, let’s say you’ve been in a romantic soulmate relationship for three years. For the first three months things were beyond awesome. But the remaining 2 years and 9 months have been a living hell.
No matter what you do to improve the relationship, it fails. Because your soulmate is unwilling to discuss, share or listen to ideas and suggestions to make the relationship better, things just get worse. You explain how your needs aren’t being met. But alas, it falls on deaf ears or they just don’t care. So perhaps you need to evaluate the purpose of the relationship in regard to your soulmate contract.
You’re in a spiritual partnership so that doesn’t give your soulmate free license to treat you like crap! If they’re not your soulmate, and just a normal, mundane relationship, you wouldn’t stand for this behavior. So why are you allowing your soulmate to treat you that way? “Because they’re my soulmate”, is not a strong enough answer!
LIFE LESSONS IN YOUR SOULMATE CONTRACT
Perhaps it’s time to assess your soulmate agreement to ascertain just exactly what it is you’re supposed to learn. The lessons are probably about staying in your power or taking your power back from a dysfunctional relationship. Most soulmate relationships are to teach unconditional love, detachment and patience. Well, you can still unconditionally love someone without being in a relationship with them. Just unconditionally love them from afar.
Do you have to stay in a miserable soulmate relationship because of the soulmate contract? No! A soul agreement is complicated. You each agree to provide and support each other through a series of life lessons and personal growth experiences.
Perhaps your contract says you’re to end relationships where you feel under-valued and unloved. Or maybe you’re supposed to walk away from a relationship with someone who regularly practices infidelity. You certainly should end a soulmate relationship where you’re treated as a booty-call for several years. You may truly feel love for that person and you can still love them. Just love them from afar.
These break-ups need not be permanent. Your soulmate is supposed to make changes for the better. Allow them the opportunity to do so. Stop enabling them and preventing them from growing and changing for the better. You leaving or ending the relationship may be the only thing that will get them to change their ways.
THE UNIVERSE DOESN’T WANT US TO BE MISERABLE
The universe doesn’t require you to indefinitely stay in a relationship that makes you unhappy. Why would they subject you to that? They won’t.
When the Universe wants us to learn a lesson, we will learn it. One way or another. We may go kicking and screaming through that lesson. But we will learn it. There’s nothing to be gained from staying in a soulmate relationship that leaves you unhappy and depressed except more unhappiness and depression. The Universe doesn’t want us to be martyrs. They want us to live, love, laugh and evolve. Exercise your own individual free will. And get the heck out of there.
It’s time to assess the situation fairly and decide if this relationship truly works for you. If it doesn’t, it’s time to end it. This doesn’t mean you’re ending your soulmate contract. It simply means your part is complete. Now it is up to your partner to do the same. If they won’t do it while you are together, you may need some time apart for them to learn.
THE LESSON WILL COME BACK AGAIN IF YOU DON’T LEARN IT
Here’s the real dilemma. If you continue to stay where you’re unhappy and disempowered, you’re working against your destiny. If you stay stuck you’ll get the same experience again. But in a different way because you didn’t get it right the first time. And it will be way harder!
For example, you stay in a miserable relationship with someone who’s cheating on you. You decide to love them, no matter what, to better understand the principle of unconditional love. But what about loving yourself?
The cheating soulmate will more than likely cheat again. And your heart will be broken again. They won’t help rebuild the trust they broke. More than likely you’ve been dancing this karmic dance for centuries with the same scenario.
Learn the lesson. Get off the roller coaster. Exercise your free will. That’s why the universe gives it to us. It doesn’t mean you’ve broken your soulmate contract. It means you’ve completed it and overcome the challenges. Congratulations!
Originally posted on 2012-02-05 @ 12:37 pm