Soulmates are rare and that is what makes them so special. To feel so intensely connection to another human being on so many levels, is truly an extraordinary experience. Of course we can have strong feelings of love for numerous people over a lifetime, yet the love we have towards are soulmate is exceptional.
It is very rare to meet someone for the first time and feel as though you have known them forever, yet this is common with soulmates. So many clients have told us they found themselves tolerating behavior from their soulmate that they would never have put up with from another human being. Sometimes a soulmate will behave or think in ways that are foreign to their own personality. A strong, independent woman, for example, may find herself feeling less strong and wanting less independence now that her soulmate has entered the picture. Because of the rare bond, it is a common for both parties to change. How they change, whether it be for the better or the worse, is entirely up to them.
Many people cling too hard to their soulmate relationship when a break would actually be beneficial. The heightened levels of emotion can cause extreme levels of drama and situations can get way out of hand. Also, if certain bad behaviors have been accepted or tolerated for too long of a time they only get worse.
Instead of clinging to something that has gone off course, it may be time to withdraw for a while. Because of the rare connection soulmates share, time apart between them is not really a bad thing. In normal relationships the term “out of sight out of mind” may apply, but not with soulmate relationships. The bond always remains, regardless of how far apart they may be. The universe created this rare pairing, and no mere mortal can destroy the connection.
If the relationship becomes too toxic, the bond can be diminished, but in truth, it still remains. It just makes it much easier to deal with. You will always have a special place reserved for your soulmate, regardless of how much time has passed since you have seen each other.
Because soul mates are so rare, waiting for a soulmate to materialize can make someone impatient. The universe is in charge of timing, and they decide when the time is right. You may want your soulmate to appear so you can have the romantic relationship you always wanted. Well, the universe’s prime purpose is not that of romantic matchmakers. They use the pairing of romantic partners to create change, and without that change, you don’t get the romantic relationship you wanted.
If your soulmate relationship is not going smoothly, it is time to get real with yourself. Look at both yourself and your partner and see what changes you are both resisting. You many try to blame it all on your soulmate, but it is your fault too. You have been using the rare connection and feelings you have towards this person as an excuse to not change your own way of doing, thinking or feeling. Until you get yourself right, the relationship won’t be right. So don’t expect to have the reward without doing some work. Soulmates come at a cost. So if you have been hoping, wishing and praying to be blessed with a soulmate, be prepared to pay the price that comes with it.
Why does your soulmate hurt you? Isn’t a soulmate relationship supposed to be a relationship with a higher standard? Why would a soulmate hurt your feelings, especially for no good reason?
First of all, soulmates have very deep feelings for one another by way of their deep soul connection. Unfortunately, this does not mean they won’t hurt you. Usually they will hurt you much more than a regular, or mundane, relationship.
Soulmate relationships are very tricky and often hard to navigate. When feelings run high, tensions often run high as well. Due to the hurdles soulmates often have to jump over, hurt feelings are often a part of the package. If the lessons to be learned are avoided on either side, you can pretty much guarantee there will be a lot of hurt feelings as well.
Just because this person is your soulmate, does not mean you give them carte blanche to repeatedly hurt you feelings. You are supposed to raise your standard with a soulmate, not lower it. If you do lower your standards by allowing them to do hurt you in ways you would not let anyone else on earth, you are not learning your lessons either.
The universe would not support a relationship where one soulmate constantly hurts another and the other one tolerates it. This is not what that union was created for, so don’t expect a miracle from them. Your soulmate has to stop hurting you and you have to stop waiting for them to hurt you and do something about it.
You may not like what you have to do, but too bad. You want this relationship to work out? Then do the work, or enable it to be ruined. It’s up to you. You know what you need to do, in most cases, you are just afraid to do it. Fear and your insecurities are not exactly the best advisors are they? Do what you know is right, and stop doing what is safe.
Stop using the soulmate excuse. Stop blaming your connection for the reason you are allowing your soulmate to hurt you over and over again. Yes, the connection is there. The universe created it, but don’t blame them. They are not forcing you to remain in a connection that hurts you. Own up to your responsibility of the misuse of the connection you share.
In so many, many cases a soulmate will hurt you because they are trying to work out the connection they have with you and what they must face because of you. While they work though that, you may get hurt in the process. If your soulmate is in denial about having this bond with you, how they react to that is most assuredly going to hurt your feelings. That isn’t about you per say, but it is about them accepting what is happening.
It does not excuse them, just try not to take it too personally, which we realize is easier said than done. If it is hurting you too much, distance yourself from them until they work through it on their own. You are not responsible for being their teacher all the time. They learned to talk, write, drive and do math. They can learn their own lessons if you need to remove yourself from the situation for a while.
When a soulmate is working through their own issues and feelings they may not understand or be aware of how their words, decisions or behaviors hurt you. If you don’t make your hurt feelings aware enough to them, and not just with words but actions, then they won’t think it is really a big deal. Never be so compassionate to someone else, even a soulmate, that you constantly sacrifice your own feelings, and allow yourself to be hurt over and over again.
Soulmate relationships can really make someone believe they are losing their sanity. Countless people we speak to believe they have completely lost their minds or are in the process of losing them. They share with us all the details about the way they feel and think about their soulmate, and literally believe they are losing their sanity.
They tell us how they can’t stop thinking about their soulmate and fear they are bordering on soulmate obsession. The feelings they have for their soulmate defy all logic. Upon initial meeting, the feelings for a soulmate are immediate and so strong they seem impossible to believe. They find themselves acting in strange and unusual ways, tolerating behaviors they would deem unacceptable in mundane romantic relationships. They should have run out of chances a long time ago, but for some crazy reason, they are given chance after chance.
So what is it about soulmate relationships that can make people do, feel and think the craziest things?
A soulmate connection makes people feel things they never felt before. Those feelings can often make them behave in ways they never thought possible. It is easy to think your sanity is questionable when you barely recognize yourself anymore. You may have been one to set and enforce boundaries. Now you are afraid to create and enforce boundaries with your soulmate. What you were strong enough to do in other relationships you are afraid to do in a soulmate relationship.
You are intelligent enough to know what you should do. You are smart enough to recognize bad behavior. The problem is you are not using your intelligence as much anymore. Your emotions have taken over all aspects of your logical mind.
Many people think the emotion of love causes them to do crazy insane things with their soulmate. Wrong. It may seem like love, but it is really coming from fear. You may believe you are letting your soulmate get away with so much because of the strength of the soulmate connection or the unconditional love you have for them. That is shifting the blame outside yourself. It isn’t love or the connection, it is your fear preventing you from doing what you know is right.
You are afraid to put your foot down because you are afraid they will leave. That is what it all boils down to. The soulmate connection didn’t make you call your soulmate after a fight that was all their fault. You were afraid they wouldn’t call you. When you let fear dictate your behavior and thoughts you are not thinking clearly. Now your thoughts and behaviors become as wacky as your soulmate’s.
And wonder why your soulmate relationship is a dysfunctional mess? What else could it be? When it gets to a point where the relationship is testing your sanity it is time to get your emotions in check. Start thinking about what you know instead of what you are afraid of. If you know things have to change then begin changing yourself. Look at how you played a part in what has been created. Begin to do what you know is right and healthy for a relationship, and stop making excuses based on fear. When you do that, you begin to bring sanity back into your soulmate relationship.
Have your soulmates feelings for you changed? Was everything between you swimming along wonderfully then suddenly, out of nowhere, they announced they no longer felt the same way? This is a common occurrence in soulmate relationships. It happens all the time, way more often than you think it would, and to millions of soulmate couples on the planet.
Many times, soulmates feel powerless over their feelings. At the initial meeting, when soulmates collide, that lack of power is exhilarating. They usually allow their emotions to overtake their reason and just enjoy the ride. Everything is perfect, everything is in sync and both soul mates are blissfully happy. Then the soulmates come back to earth with a hard crash, as reality sets in. The happiness, bliss and euphoria they were swept away by scares them and replaced by fear and running from their emotions.
Soulmates often deny the connection at some point, or at least question it. When the soulmate connection is challenged, the feelings may be denied, by one or both parties. When this occurs, your soulmate may suddenly tell you their feelings have changed or that they no longer feel anything. This is not their reality, it is based on their denial. We all know that feelings can’t be changed overnight unless one of you does something horrendous to the other. So if your soulmate says their feelings have changed, unless there is a valid reason, such as killing their mother, something isn’t right.
You will feel even minor fluctuations in your connection to your soulmate. Is your soulmate behaving as though their feelings have changed? Have they become mean, distant, or changed their behaviors or words for the worse? Their feelings may not have changed at all but it could indicate you have been letting them get away with too much. They may also be trying to get the upper hand in your relationship or trying to get you to back off from something.
If you have been pressuring your soulmate to end their other relationship so you can be together as a couple, for instance, they may pull this stunt on you. Instead of facing the harsh reality that they end their other relationship, its just easier for them to announce their feelings for you have changed. It is to create fear in you so you will back off, removing the pressure on them to do the right thing for your relationship.
Your soulmate’s feelings may have changed because of bad actions on your part. If you continue to do things they repeatedly warned you about over and over again, they may reach their breaking point. Just because someone has a connection with you doesn’t mean you can/will get away with murder, especially if they are setting healthy boundaries. So don’t give them a good reason to change their feelings for you by continuing to push the envelope.
If soulmates are apart, on a break or even broken-up, it is extremely rare their feelings toward you will change in the near future. A soulmate connection is eternal, so they won’t forget you overnight, over months or even over years. Anyone who has experienced a soulmate driving them crazy knows this. No matter what they do or how many times they do it, you can’t turn those feelings on and off like a light switch.
If you seriously believe your soulmate’s feelings have changed for you, or fear they may be heading that direction, take a step back. Look at what problems your soulmate is currently experiencing in their personal life. Have you been pressuring them? Are you getting ready to take a big step in your relationship? Are they having problems with work or family? It could simply be their way of taking it out on you.
Have you lost interest in your soulmate? Has your soulmate caused you to lose interest in them because of how they have treated you? Have you felt like you have lost all hope and just can’t do it any more? Are you ready to walk away from your soulmate because you feel as though enough is enough?
That can actually be a good thing. Not all soul mates are meant to last.
If your soulmate refuses to step up to the plate and instead steps all over you, it may be time to lose interest in them all together. Your soulmate may not realize you have a threshold and that they have reached it. When you have lost interest in your soulmate, they will know it, and they won’t like it. It just may be the wake up call they need.
More than likely they may wait you out, because after all that you have done to show them you care, it will be hard for them to believe you suddenly don’t. When they do realize it, more often than not, they try to get you interested in them again. Then the decision will be up to you. You may not be able to get that interest back. You may have moved on to another soulmate and not be willing to let them go. You may even decide to give them another shot. How you feel now is not always indicative of how you will feel in the future.
It really takes a lot to lose interest in your soulmate. It doesn’t happen overnight either. Soulmate connections are very strong, and are able to withstand an awful lot. No one can just simply lose interest in their soulmate unless there is a very significant reason as to why. Even then, it takes time.
You won’t lose the connection even though you have lost interest in your soulmate. That connection just won’t affect you as strongly and as often as it did when things were good between the two of you. If you fear your soulmate will lose interest in you because of a stupid argument don’t worry. They may be mad for a while or act out, but it really takes something major for soulmates to lose interest in each other and the relationship.
If you are feeling overly emotional, you make think you have lost interest in your soulmate. Before you do anything you might regret, give yourself some time to calm down and think rationally. You may do something you might regret, and no one wants to deal with a soulmate separation that they didn’t want. Soulmate separations can last a long time, and you shouldn’t end a soulmate relationship without really thinking it through.