When Your Soulmate is Married to Someone Else

When Your Soulmate is Married to Someone Else

When you soulmate is married to someone else, you may very often feel as if your world is often falling apart. Even though you met with great intensity and you both recognize the connection you share is unlike any other, you wonder if you will ever truly be able to be together as a couple. You were not looking to fall in love with a married man, but you did.   The connection between you is intense and you feel tied to them in some way, shape or form. You may wonder what his marriage is really like. You may wonder if he is at a point where he is looking to get out of his marriage or if he is just looking for an affair. He and his wife may have children together, a business together, or have financial ties together that would be hard to unravel. You may think the universe must have a wicked of sense of humor because you have waited so long to meet this great guy but he is married. This is one of the most difficult dilemmas for soulmate relationships, you meet your soulmate, but your soulmate is married…to someone else.

When Your Soulmate is Married to Someone Else

When Your Soulmate is Married to Someone Else

 

So, what should you do about this connection you feel with this married man you believe is your soulmate?

When your soulmate is married to someone else, your options are somewhat limited. You can either 1) have an affair or 2) keep it on the back burner until he gets divorced. Each of these options run their individual risks. If you enter into an affair when your soulmate is married, you may become even more emotionally invested with this relationship. It could take months, years, or decades until your soulmate leaves his wife and gets divorced. On the other hand, he may never get divorced and all you will be is the other woman for the rest of your life. But if this is a soulmate relationship, perhaps it is the only form of relationship defined by your soulmate contract for this lifetime.

You may believe he will leave his wife someday, but will he ever get divorced? He may tell you he will, but he may be lying. He may tell you they have an open marriage and it is perfectly acceptable for the two of you to be together because you are soulmates, and since it is an open marriage his wife will not care. Before you enter into an affair, hoping to get more down the line, you need to know how he feels about the situation, if he really recognizes the two of you are soulmates and what course of action he is going to take. It has to go both ways or you should not even think of starting an affair. Before you get in over your head and fall deeply in love with him, you need to think about what the future really holds for the two of you. You need to think about what could happen if everything works out but  also consider what could go wrong. Because this is where you will be truly challenged in this relationship.

Your next option would be to wait it out. Give it some time and see if his marriage thrives or ends without you involved with your soulmate in any way. Sometimes being involved with your soulmate keeps him in his marriage, because he has it all. Even though you want to see him and spend time with him, it actually enables him to stay with his wife. She takes care of the home and kids and you take care of his other needs, he has the best of both worlds. You don’t want to enable him to stay married, do you? You can run the risk of him staying married longer than he should, or staying married forever. The fact that you are soulmates may not have been your choice, but what you choose to do about your married soulmate, is up to you. There is a right and wrong path for every situation, and if you are in an affair or contemplating getting into one, you need to make sure you choose the right path.

So why would God, the Universe, or the Divine, really bring a married soulmate into your life? Believe it or not there are many reasons for this and since soulmates are about life lessons and personal growth, it more than likely has something to do with an aspect of both of your lives that need to be assessed and resolved. You may think you are ready for a truly committed relationship with someone, but when your soulmate is married, it makes it very difficult to have that committed relationship.

Perhaps you are at a place in your life where you are not truly available for a relationship so you have attracted someone else who is not available. On the other hand maybe you are having a lesson on your own self worth, by refusing to allow yourself to be second fiddle to the guys wife. Perhaps this is a lesson in setting boundaries by refusing to be a booty call for your married soulmate because you just value yourself too much.

For the soulmate who is married, perhaps it is to serve as the catalyst for change to expose to him the reality of his own life. If he is miserable in his marriage, he needs to look closely at that and decide if he can continue to live a lie. If not, then he can either end it to be with you, or decide to really give his marriage everything he has to see if it can get any better. What ever the cause, the crossing of your paths is not coincidence. There is a deeper meaning here for having this married soulmate in your life.

20 Comments

  1. Pingback: Could Some Soulmate Connections be BAD for You?

  2. What if he says he’s NOT miserable and loves his wife too…. he says he loves both of us and I know he will never leave her… he was my soul mate from day one when I saw him on the school bus at 12 years old we were each others first boyfriend and girlfriend, I never got over him but we both married and had kids young with other people. 25 years later we got back in contact and the moment we met up again, it was like it was only yesterday that we last spoke, this is not just about the physical, this is about every area, we both bring out the best in each other and make each other want to be better people… there is such a strong connection in every way, we are and always have been the best of friends. Nobody is perfect and while we both have our ugly areas for some odd reason it makes us love each other even more…this is a man that is very closed and doesn’t say he loves just anyone….it took him four years before he told me he loved me…. we have had an ongoing relationship like we were married for almost eight long years… I finally broke it off in January, because I was going through a mental breakdown, it was making me sick… I just couldn’t deal with the stress and the loneliness… I couldn’t share him anymore it was literally killing me inside. I now see how toxic it was, but by no means will I EVER GET OVER HIM OR STOP LOVING HIM… he will always be my soul mate till the day I die, and my heart will always hope in us, always think that someday we will finally be together , you see my heart chose him, I didn’t so I’m stuck. I’m not even interested in dating and probably never will be because he is my one and only…There is not one day that goes by that I’m not thinking about him all day long…I will go to my grave a very lonely person because of this…. I am now divorced, and have been for over two years as my husband found out and we eventually divorced not long after…… affair or not our marriage would have ended in divorce regardless … my soul mate however is still married and will not divorce his wife. I don’t know how anyone can be married as long as they have and not know their husband is emotionally and physically connected to another woman and for eight years… maybe she does know deep inside, and doesn’t want to face the facts, kind of like a woman who keeps going back to a husband who beats her, the truth hurts… one more thing and I could go on forever but neither of us had ever cheated on our spouses prior to each other, we had so much history together since we have known each other since he was 13 and I was 12 we are now 46 and 47, so this is not your typical affair. I know deep in my heart someday our paths will meet again and maybe we will finally be together ,not sure how but until then I am trying to find happiness in other areas of my life, and am taking one day at a time… I swear my story would make a very interesting movie, one I’m finding many could relate to… I would just make sure that the ending was a good one, because as of now, it kills me everyday to be without him, his love and his friendship…so there is my very sad story… with a very sad ending thus far…

    • Soulmate Reading

      Unfortunately the ending of this story happens more often than not – as husbands, most of the time, but not always, will not leave their marriage for whatever reasons.. usually kids, finances or whatever other reasons they give. It is a very sad situation that we hear a bit too frequently. Hopefully you will find happiness in your life and if you can’t be with him in this lifetime, you guys will find each other in the next one.

  3. Ahhh yes. All of the above. I am currently in this situation and I am ready to face the reality of the situation. When you take away the passion and the amazing connection you still are left with the reality of the affair. Affairs are filled with longing and waiting, hoping and dreaming, wishing, amazing highs and the deepest of lows. That is not a way to live as your life ceases to become authentic. You become different. I feel slightly hollow and feel like I am not myself. Soooo…I have made the decision to stop getting carried away with the highs and realise that I want something with stability. I am worth it!

    • Soulmate Reading

      Blessings to you Joanne for taking your own self worth and self esteem into consideration. You are on the right path!

    • It is a very painful situation indeed
      But amazingly I don’t want him to live sad life, we mostly tell each other the truth, we really enjoy just looking at each other and exchange gifts. We are both afraid of getting into deeper affairs. I can see sadness deep in heart, I’m sad too deep in my heart. Am in a relationship and he is married but I can’t stop feeling that someday he looks be mine
      I don’t know when or how! But I don’t want to ruin his marriage

  4. This is truly my story. I have stayed with my married soulmate for 10 years. I have finally grew to the point where I needed to love myself more than I love him. I have just become an enabler for him to stay. He had it made. He didn’t have to do a damn thing. But, I am the one who paid the price, “waiting” for change to happen. I’m the only one who could make that change happen by accepting the fact that he will never leave and I need to walk away. so, that is what I am doing. I want to find happiness again and I’m giving myself that chance to. I finally had the courage to say, enough is enough. I’m important and I deserve happiness too. It will come. I may have to stand alone for awhile but I have faith that my turn will come again one day, and this time the timing will be perfect, even if it’s with someone else. I hope and pray that anyone who finds themselves in this position, please find the courage to love yourself enough to let him go.

  5. My story is almost identical to “L” above. We met under very unusual circumstances. I am 58 and he is 77! He’s been in a loveless marriage for most of the 50 years they’ve been together. It’s very sad. He’s in turmoil, thinking it would kill her for him to leave and he feels sorry for her. His age doesn’t bother me. I would feel blessed to be able to care for him if he needed, and, I feel he will one day. My therapist said I needed to write a book about our relationship and I probably should. It would truly be the sweetest and most amazing love story ever told. I feel a great sense of urgency to be with him at this late stage in his life. The problem is that he lives in England and I live in the United States. It is truly a bizarre situation. I’m planning to try to move there but it will take a year or two to accomplish. If he won’t leave her, I will live close enough to look after him if he’s ill. What a mess this is! I feel like I’m going crazy half the time. Any thoughts on this impossible situation?

  6. Pingback: When Your Soulmate Is Dating Someone Else

  7. Wow, this crazy but a couple of months ago I went through something that made me sit down and meditate about my life and why things are going this way and it brought me back to the day I lost my virginity. Well a month ago I just felt I had to find him and I did the same day in like 2 minutes and we just connect instantly but he was married. Well he came to visit me the next day and it was like BOOM and I was like omg I just felt complete but he told me he wanted to fight for his marriage and we really don’t talk since that, but its like I can feel him a lot like anywhere and when I try to talk to somewhere else it don’t work. It just weird like he told me I was his first love and I never knew that. But I just feel like we will be together but I just need to take the time to focus on myself more. Thing is I’m not mad at him I’m more hurt because I let him go 2x and I just don’t want to let him go even if we are just friends, but I don’t know if that will be a good thing. I really don’t know where its going because he is married and we don’t talk and we didn’t have sex because he’s married but its like I have sex with him spiritually cause I can just feel him. Even though we’re not in a relationship I feel like I’m in a long distance relationship and if I sleep with someone I’m cheating. It feel really wierd. Can someone explain this

  8. I found mine he is married. I fell for him as soon as he walked in the room. We are not trying to be in a relationship even though he also knows that he can’t live without me either so we are trying to make it work as friends. I have been with someone 12 years and he’s been with her about that much time too. I have tried to stop talking to him many times and when I go a long time without him In my life I feel like a piece of me is gone. Ive known him for 2 years now. Our lives and past are almost exactly alike and the problems in our relationships are that way too. Sometimes we go awhile without talking but I know that he’s there and he knows i will be there too. I don’t think soul mates have to be together I think if it’s meant to be they will be in your life some way or another.

  9. As THE WIFE. My husband believed he met his soulmate during his midlife crisis. He had an affair and I found out. Divorced him and he went to be with her. SHe turned out to be a nightmare instead of his dream girl. It turns out all they really had was the fantasy illusion and excitement of cheating. It too 3 months after our separation for their relationship to break up. By then he lost his family as our two kids are disgusted in his actions and his fantasy. He lost his home also. The grass is greener where it’s watered.

    • Soulmate Reading

      So sorry for what you went through. This sounds like they weren’t really soulmates, they just used that as an excuse to do what they did.

      • I agree this is a strong possibility that they weren’t actually soul mates. My soul mates have never left my mind, my dreams, for 20 years and counting… It’s not about a physical connection, either, although that also has been a natural part of the connections, in my case and wasn’t always apparent right away.

  10. I am conflicted. I met my soulmate and I know its a fact because I have never connected with anyone like this before. I’ve been in love but I always had doubts and reservations. But with Chris it is different. His flaws if anything make me love him more. We met on world of Warcraft and we’re drawn instantly together, not romantically at first but when we met we became best friends and in a matter of days feelings began to develop, not feelings of love at the time but affection and contentment. It was kismet. It just kept growing. I have been in a rut for a very long time. I have been jobless and my self confidence was no existent. And since I found him I feel like a different person and everyone sees it. My newfound confidence helped me land a job and I don’t find myself as depressed, and yet at the same time I am still broken because he is married. She has cheated on him twice in his 6 years of marriage. They are now in a sexless, loveless, marriage of convenience, at least from his point of view. But when she cheated the second time and he threatened him with divorce, she threatened to kill herself. Now he won’t leave her because he is afraid she is serious and doesn’t want it on his conscience. i told him she is probably just using it to manipulate him into staying since he is the one who works and pays for her life. And that if she was serious that was still no reason to stay with her and instead he should seek professional help for her. But he won’t risk it. I have now distanced myself from him because no matter how many times we try to go back to when we were just friends, and try to shove our feelings aside. We always slip up and accidentally say something that is more than friendly. We have not slept together but we are insanely attracted to each other. I told him he has till Halloween to decide if he wants to be with me or not and that I will not be a mistress so he would have to leave her. I want him to be happy and I can’t stand to watch him kill both of our hearts by staying with her for this reason. If they had kids I might have been more understanding but they don’t. I feel guilty for essentially giving him an ultimatum but I can’t keep having what can only be considered as an emotional affair with a married man, soulmate or not. It is tearing me up inside. I just don’t know what to do.

  11. I chose to be the other girl, I tried to get away from it a lot of times. Breaking up with him but I’m going crazy without him and end up coming back. I got pregnant, he told his wife about it and was about to divorce but I don’t know what happened and everything turned upside down. He avoided me and broke up with me, he told me he’s gonna continue marrying his wife. After 2 months they told me they’re gonna divorce if our child will be born. We have our daughter now (which he told me he wanted a daughter, a really nice coincidence right?). He sometimes answer my messages secretly through their office phone but his wife even put gps on his personal phone so he can’t really go and meet me. We’re gonna meet in court for paternal recognition because I believe it’s the best thing to do for my daughter. I believe we have the empathic/emotional connection upto now. It was gone for about a month or so but it came back. I don’t know if they are still going to divorce because they’re still together. I still love him even though he left me and did really awful things to my heart. I don’t know if our contract will be just like this or I should still wait. I somehow feel calm in a way my heart tells me everything will fall back into the right place but at the same time I’m so afraid of what if it will not. I’m so afraid. Really afraid.

  12. Poobalan Velauthan

    Hi I’m a married man with 3 kids for 10 years. Recently I met a girl whom I last met 4 years ago thru a friend. We went out for a party and ended up spending the night together. The next morning I did not feel as if I want to send her back home as if we had a one night stand. I felt a special feeling of attachment towards her. So I invited her to stay over at my rented apartment for a month. She said OK and we stayed together on and off whenever I go to her city for my businesses. I was a smoker drinker and a clubber. She on the other hand was a vegan. I changed my diet and became a vegan as well since she was always with me. I even quit smoking and drinking. She takes care of everything about me my diet and etc.. Both of us will feel the pain at the same time and same location for instance migraine or eyesore etc… and when I have the pain she will ask me if I’m having the pain at the exact spot. When ever she with me I’m overwhelmingly felt happy and free. My marriage was at a stage where me and my wife didn’t communicate as we used to be but I still show my love for the sake of my 3 babies. Suddenly after 3 months my gf suddenly said her cousin called and and asked if she was sleeping with someone’s husband. Which she declined. But she was worried why and how her cousin knew about our relationship even when he was miles away from her place. Now she feels guilty for having a physical relationship with me and opt for an emotional only relationship with me. I worry that without any physical relationship we might drift away and I might loose her. Please advice how I should handle this matter…

    Thank you

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