As you may or may not know, many soulmate relationships turn into dysfunctional relationships. But not all dysfunctional relationships are soulmate relationships. It can be confusing because there are many similarities between soulmate relationships and dysfunctional ones. Both types of relationships have tons of drama, and the path they are on resemble a roller coaster ride. The highs are really great, and the lows are the epitome of misery. In both soulmate and dysfunctional relationships the parties involved have a very hard time letting go. The intense emotions that defy logic often make people in dysfunctional relationships believe they put up with it all because the person is their soulmate. This is not always true.
A soulmate relationship can make you change in ways you never thought possible. You find yourself doing and saying things that are alien to you. The same thing happens quite often in dysfunctional relationships. Logical, strong-minded people feel as if they are going insane. Everything about the feelings they have and the relationship they are in make no sense to them. They are afraid to discuss their relationship and their feelings towards it because they fear what others will think of them. This is common in both soulmate and dysfunctional relationships. Now that we have discussed the many similarities, we need to get into the difference between soulmate and dysfunctional relationships.
The challenges may be the same in both soulmate and dysfunctional relationships. The reason for those challenges is different. With a soulmate relationship, the challenges the couple face are to grow, change and to evolve. These changes will eventually bring out the best in both of them. A strictly dysfunctional relationship faces many challenges, but for another reason. These relationships are to teach you what relationships are wrong for you. The sole purpose is for you to learn what not to do, what not to put up with, and to realize you deserve more than what you are getting. Quite often the lesson is that you learn how to walk away from the wrong thing. These relationships, unlike soulmate relationships, have no real chance at working out.
The connection between soulmates and dysfunctional couples seems to be quite similar. You have a hard time letting go, the pain hurts more that you could imagine, and you cannot stop thinking and obsessing about them. The difference is that the connection between soul mates can give them the strength to rise above their challenges and learn their lessons. The connection provides assistance to each member of the couple and to give them faith in the relationship. In purely dysfunctional relationships, the connection is different. Instead of giving strength, it makes them weak. They feel powerless and keep making excuses to enable the relationship to stay dysfunctional. Then the relationship continues to get more and more dysfunctional.
It may be very hard to distinguish a dysfunctional soulmate relationship from a strictly dysfunctional one. Especially because so many people in strictly dysfunctional relationships use the label of soulmates as a crutch or excuse for the dysfunction. We are here to help. Whether yours is a soulmate or dysfunctional relationship (or both) we can give you an unbiased assessment of what kind of relationship you are in and what needs to be done about it.