Many people believe in predestined relationships. But what exactly is a predestined relationship? Well we don’t believe predestined relationships exist. However, we do believe that destiny brings two people together through chance encounters, the crossing of paths or the aligning of the stars. While these may feel like chance encounters, serendipity or synchronicity, it is more so the karmic agreement you have with another soul. Before you were born, you and that soulmate decided that you would meet at a certain place and time because you had some things to work through together. So when we think of predestined relationship, it makes more sense to refer to agreements made with a soulmate for completion of a karmic task. That is the predestined part. There is never any guarantee it will turn into a relationship.
Some people believe soulmate relationships are predestined relationships that come with a guarantee for romantic success. And while this can be true in some cases, they don’t have the ability to see the full destiny of a relationship or its final outcome. Destiny most certainly plays a role when meeting someone who you might have never met under normal circumstances, for example. But destiny does not participate in how this relationship ultimately unfolds. Destiny has played its role by putting you both in the same place at the same time, but this does not indicate it is a predestined relationship. The chance encounter was predestined, but for the destiny to unfold, you much each make choices in your lives to support it. The Universe produces the connections, the free will we are all given determines where the relationship ultimately goes.
People who believe in predestined relationships might also believe the relationship will be full of roses and moonlight walks on the beach. Since destiny brought them together, that most certainly fate will kick in to make their predestined relationship the perfect romantic adventure. Destiny can only do so much; it won’t do all the work for you nor will it guarantee the quality of a relationship. So again while the opportunity to meet a romantic partner may be predestined by fates greater than yourselves, you much each individually do the work within the relationship. The two people involved in the relationship and their willingness to work together to build a happy healthy life produces a long-lasting partnership. If you believe in a set outcome for a predestined relationship, then what is the point of the actual dating process? Interesting food for thought.
If we consider that predestined relationships are defined before we are born, we must also agree that they will come with life lessons. As we have discussed in other blogs, many life lessons come through painful experiences, what has this predestined relationship come to teach you? Some of them can actually create wonderful relationships but unfortunately they can’t all be positive experiences. Destiny does not always bring us joyful events. Quite often destiny’s intervention is to learn a hard lesson. What happens when the going gets tough? The outcome of predestined relationships really relies on the partners and their willingness to work for a healthy happy relationship. Too often people drop the ball expecting fate and destiny to sustain their relationship when the need to do the work themselves to fulfill a life lesson.
If you believe that a relationship can be destined to work out, you also then must accept that some relationships may be destined to fail. You can’t have one without the other. Some predestined relationships, if the lesson is learned and is allowed to fail, leads the person to the right relationship for them. There have been countless people who have shared these experiences with us. For example, someone we will call “Mary” had what she believed was a predestined relationship turn into a complete disaster. No matter how hard she tried to make it work she hit obstacles and barriers that could not overcome. Their meeting was predestined and she believed that alone indicated the relationship would last. In truth, the relationship made her so miserable. She refused to throw in the towel, because she believed so strongly in the predestined relationship that just had to work out in the end. She was wrong. This relationship was predestined, but not for the reason Mary thought. Once she learned the lesson this predestined relationship provided, and let that relationship go, a better relationship entered her life. Looking back, she could see how the experience of the predestined relationship led her to the happy fulfilling relationship she is enjoying today. So in truth, this predestined relationship, although it failed, ultimately led her to a successful romantic partnership.
Destiny is not cupid. Destiny does not surround your relationship in a protective bubble to keep your relationship together forever. Predestined relationships allow us to take the opportunities we are given and make the best of them, regardless of the final outcome. The beginning of a relationship can be predestined, but you must all take responsibility for how the relationship unfolds.
What is your predestined relationship destined to be? What are you supposed to be learning, changing or doing in your current relationship to ensue the most positive outcome for you? Sarah and Sophia can provide clarity and insight into the specific purposes of predestined relationships in your lives.
Soulmate relationships come with a certain amount of destiny and fate attached to them, but not all relationships are fated. When we speak of destiny we mean they come from that spiritual place of pre-destined meetings that you agreed to before birth. A fated relationship, such as a soulmate relationship, will shape your life by bringing experiences that you would not have had, if this person had not entered your life. In other words, if you did not have this fated meeting, your life path may very well have taken a different route. When it is a fated relationship, the energy of it will be bigger than both of you, and it will unfold as the Universe wants it to.
When things are fated in your life, many people and beings conspire and are used to create that reality. And it is truly a cosmic experience. Soulmate relationships and others you are meant to encounter in this lifetime, will enter your life no matter what you do because it is like a concert being conducted by the Universe. When you have this experience you will see the flow of what seem like random events converge together to create the mystical experience that defines a fated relationship. When you are engaged with someone who is a fated relationship, whether that be a friendship or soulmate relationship, they will always make a big impact on your life and be part of your life for a long time.
We can also have relationships that are defined by non-fated meetings. These people come into our lives to teach us a lesson, for one particular reason or another, and then move on. As we have discussed in many other blogs, a soulmate relationship does not necessarily last a lifetime, as it could also only last for a season or a reason. And that reason is to teach you a life lesson about yourself that must be learned for your own personal growth, and then they move on. Even though we may have formed a strong emotional bond to that individual, during the time the life lesson was in play, we must also realize that once that lesson has been assimilated into our psyche, it is time for us to let them go, thank them for the lesson and move on as best we can. And yes, we realize that moving on may be easier said than done, but that will also be part of the lesson.
So how exactly can you determine if a meeting is fated or non-fated? In a fated meeting, as mentioned above, the Universe is definitely moving things around to “force” a meeting and it will only happen through divine design. Here is an example: Lets say you have a trip planned but when you get to the airport, your flight is cancelled. Even though you had been looking forward to the trip for many months you wonder now if you will ever get there. Finally, two days later, you are on an outbound plane to your destination. Instead of having 12 days in your locale, you now only have 10, and so you must adjust your sight-seeing activities accordingly. It is very frustrating to you to redo your entire schedule because you still want to see everything. One day you end up being somewhere you were not supposed to be on that day. Actually you were supposed to be somewhere very far away from that spot, but because you adjusted your itinerary, you were there. And BOOM! you meet someone and it has a very mythical, mystical feel to it. You were not supposed to be there. That was not your plan. But the Universe, and greater powers that be, orchestrated that entire sequence of events so you would be there, at the right time and the right place. Pretty amazing isn’t it?
Remember, non-fated relationships are just as important to our personal growth as fated ones. Also consider that the Universe brings into our lives the people and events we need at that moment to inspire us and cause us to change. If you have been in a non-fated relationship, be grateful for the experience and the lesson that came with it because in some way that person touched your life.
You don’t have to go out there and look for these types of connections. When they are supposed to come into your life they will and there is not one thing you can do to encourage it along. Go out. Live your life. When things start to appear chaotic, like the cancellation of plans, etc., take a step back and wonder what is happening and allow the Divine to work in your life.
A soulmate relationship is going to bring change into your life. We are not just talking about the kind of change where you will have a closely connected romantic partnership, but change that results from dealing with the dynamics of your soulmate relationship. Hopefully you will change, grow and evolve and so will your soulmate. When both parties ‘get it’ and are willing to make the changes they need to make for this relationship to truly work, there is balance. During your soulmate relationship you will receive many of the life lessons you might need in order to have a successful long-term relationship.
During times of separation and even break-ups, the two soulmates who make up the soulmate relationship are supposed to continue to grow and work on themselves. But do they really? Or, do they spend their time crying and obsessing over the break-up? Sure we understand that the break-up of a soulmate relationship can be particularly difficult, frustrating and overwhelming, but what are you doing for yourself during this time?
You have attracted this soulmate relationship into your life because you more than likely need to reassess some aspects of how you deal with relationships….and before this soulmate relationship can be successful, you will probably have to understand and accept the part of your personality, character or relationship behavior that might need a little ‘work’. How do you handle your romantic partner pulling back or withdrawing? How do you deal with a lack of communication? How do you feel when he hangs out with the guys? Is this a dysfunctional relationship, and you know you need to end it, but you stay in the hope that he will change?
Relationships are usually the best in the beginning. The firsts weeks, or even months, of a relationship where you are getting know each other are fast paced, exciting, and filled with romantic interludes. Just because that period of time must naturally come to an end does not indicate that the relationship is failing. One of the parties will naturally pull back because they have to pay bills, go to work, cut their grass or get their hair cut. Life comes along and throws a good dose of reality. If this usually creates a feeling of chaos and fear within you, this is probably one of the life lessons that is being highlighted in your soulmate relationship. If you usually freak-out, panic, do drive-bys, stalk him on Facebook or text him every 10 minutes, your behavior might need a little modifying. And with a soulmate relationship you are actually being called up by the Universe to make these changes so you can have a mature romantic relationship.
Some people need a lot of communication in a relationship, as it helps them feel secure about where the relationship is headed. If your soulmate is the strong, silent type, you may have to rely upon yourself for you own security. If your soulmate is not able to communicate with you every few hours, you will have to find a way to deal with it. You are being called upon by the Universe to deal with this aspect of yourself that needs a little kick. It may be difficult to change your behavior and your fears and insecurities may get the best of you, but by attracting this soulmate into your life, you have told the Universe you are ready to heal this aspect of yourself.
Sometimes even a soulmate relationship can become dysfunctional, sad but so very true. If you get stuck in one dysfunctional relationship after another what is your normal course of action? Do you hold on with a death grip, hoping and praying that things will magically improve? Has your soulmate relationship brought a lot of drama into your life? Are you tired of the roller coaster ride of not knowing where it is going or what he is going to do about it? What are you going to do about? Perhaps the Universe is calling you to change your behavior when you find yourself in a relationship, even a soulmate relationship, that is no longer making you happy. What is the life lesson here for you? Can the relationship be fixed? It will not magically fix itself, you will have to take action to fix it…or end it.
These are just a few examples of how a soulmate relationship can change you for the better. Of course there are some examples of soulmate relationships that could possibly change you for the worse, which we will cover in a later blog.
How has your soulmate relationship changed you? Have you learned to detach? Have you learned to focus on yourself? Have you learned patience or unconditional love? We welcome you to share your experiences with us and our readers!
Relationship Karma What Have you Learned?
Relationship karma is something we each carry with us in just about every relationship we have. Relationship karma can be found in the relationships we have with family, friends, co-workers, the Starbuck’s barista as well as all your romantic relationships. Not every relationship will have karma and not every relationship is karmic but we will learn fundamental lessons in life by engaging in relationships with karmic connections and soulmates. You might also want to check out our blog that details the difference between a karmic and soulmate relationships Karmic Relationships vs Soulmate Relationships.
When someone has a strong intuitive connection, Buddhism suggests that it’s because of karma, some past connection.~~Richard Gere
Many people believe that karma is punishment for past actions but the karma police are not going to come and get you and turn you into an earthworm in your next life, for any misdeeds you commit. The purpose of karma is to teach, not to punish. But what exactly is karma? It is a Sanskrit word for action and the universal law of cause and effect that says everything we do and say carries energy into the world that effects our present reality. Every action, has a reaction. In other words, every word we speak, decision we make and action we take creates and energetic imprint on our life. We create our reality from those thoughts, words and deeds. Additionally karma is connected to our life blueprint and the soulmate contracts we have with the collective soulmates we have in our lives. This of course will include life lessons and both the spiritual and personal growth we need to evolve as humans on the planet.
Karma, ahhh. We sow what we reap… We reap what we sow! We reap what we sow. The law of cause and effect. And we are all under this law.~~ Nina Hagen
If the purpose of karma is to teach, the purpose of relationship karma is to teach you about relationships. Relationship karma is the amalgamation of the experiences, lessons, dramas and traumas we incur through the process of being in a romantic relationship with a soulmate, in both the current and past lifetimes. The scenarios are being played out by the two of you, over and over, until you get it right. Some of these experiences will be positive and of course some will be negative. Unfortunately we silly humans learn best through the negative life lessons because essentially we are learning that we never want to go through or have that experience again. We move beyond and past it. On the bright side, the assimilation of these are the very ones we need to define our character and make us better relationship partners.
When you have relationship karma with someone, simply put, the karma and life lessons must be played out. If they are not, you will either 1) have that same lesson with someone else or 2) have it with this same soulmate during a later incarnation. It is how the wheel of life works. And you have a choice as to whether or not you want to continue to experience the karma with a specific person in your lifetime. If it becomes more than you want to deal with, you could exercise your right of free will and say “Adios, catch ya next time around”. The choice really is up to you and how much you are willing to sacrifice and endure to be with someone who is not stepping up to the plate. Is it practical to stay with someone who does not make you feel valued or love because you have some karmic debt with them? This is a choice you will have to make.
Karma moves in two directions. If we act virtuously, the seed we plant will result in happiness. If we act non-virtuously, suffering results.~~ Sakyong Mipham
Could Some Soulmate Connections be BAD for You?
Some soulmate connections could be ‘bad’ for you if you are unable to discern the ones you need to avoid. There is a common misconception that all soulmate connections are good and that you will live happily ever after. Of course it would be great if this were true, but unfortunately this is not the case. On the other hand, soulmate connections are to teach us things about ourselves and present opportunities for spiritual and personal growth. Here are some examples of when when soulmate connections could quite possibly be bad for you, or just plain bad.
- If you find yourself in a relationship with someone who is overbearing, rude, abusive, disrespectful and unwilling to change, this could possibly be a bad soulmate connection. But how can you know for sure? If things were great in the beginning (they always are by the way) but after the first two months his behavior changed for the worst, it might be time to assess this relationship. How does this relationship make you feel? Do you feel you have given away your power to this relationship but feel you need to hang in there because things were so great in the beginning? Is your soulmate willing to discuss this and make the changes needed to improve your relationship? If not, you could be experiencing one of the bad soulmate connections.
- You may feel you have a soulmate connection to someone but this does not always mean they feel the same. When you feel a soulmate connection to someone who does not reciprocate, you are trying to turn the relationship into something more than what it really is. You may both feel a very strong, intense connection to each other, especially sexually, but this does not always indicate it is a true soulmate relationship. If you are not both in agreement that this is a true soulmate connection, you might end up really hurt from having unrealistic expectations from this relationship. If he views your relationship as nothing more than a booty call, you could very well be stuck in a bad soulmate connection situation. You may feel the connection and have deep feelings for him, but in reality, you expectations for this person and this relationship could be very much off course.
- Another example of soulmate connections that could be bad for you is when your soulmate is married to someone else. Your married soulmate may tell you he will end his marriage when in reality he no intention of divorce. Even though the connection is so intense between the two of you (again, especially sexually) he may be too ingrained in his life with his wife. It is not that he does not love you nor see you as a soulmate partner, he could just not be willing to create upheaval in his life at the moment. Unless you are comfortable being someone’s mistress or willing to be considered ‘second’ in their life, this particular soulmate connection could be bad for you. Please see our blog When Your Soulmate is Married to Someone Else.
- Soulmate connections that take over you entire life could potentially be bad for you. Whenever you meet a soulmate it is normal to want to spend as much time with them as you can. This is totally understandable. But if you spend so much time with your soulmate, thinking about your soulmate, planning dates with your soulmate and fantasizing about your future with your soulmate, but allowing everything else in your life to fall by the wayside, this is probably not good for you. Likewise, if you soulmate partner insists that you spend all your free time with him, his family and his friends and you have not seen your family and friends in months, or years, this is quite possibly another example of soulmate connections gone bad.
We are not saying that these soulmate connections could ruin your life but we would like you to consider how your soulmate relationship is affecting you and the rest of your life. If you are feeling harmonious in you day to day life, all is well, but if you are questioning or wondering if something is wrong, you may want to consider assessing your life and relationship.
It is also important to consider that perhaps bad soulmate connections are not soulmate relationships at all. They could be karmic relationships that you have allowed yourself to believe is a soulmate relationship. Karmic relationships, as well as soulmate relationships, are in your life to cause you to evaluate an aspect of your life or your relationship, that needs addressing and probably modifying. Karmic relationships have a tendency to highlight the areas of our lives that need work allowing us to have personal and often spiritual transformation. After all, that is why we are all here.