Soulmate relationships come with a certain amount of destiny and fate attached to them, but not all relationships are fated. When we speak of destiny we mean they come from that spiritual place of pre-destined meetings that you agreed to before birth. A fated relationship, such as a soulmate relationship, will shape your life by bringing experiences that you would not have had, if this person had not entered your life. In other words, if you did not have this fated meeting, your life path may very well have taken a different route. When it is a fated relationship, the energy of it will be bigger than both of you, and it will unfold as the Universe wants it to.
When things are fated in your life, many people and beings conspire and are used to create that reality. And it is truly a cosmic experience. Soulmate relationships and others you are meant to encounter in this lifetime, will enter your life no matter what you do because it is like a concert being conducted by the Universe. When you have this experience you will see the flow of what seem like random events converge together to create the mystical experience that defines a fated relationship. When you are engaged with someone who is a fated relationship, whether that be a friendship or soulmate relationship, they will always make a big impact on your life and be part of your life for a long time.
We can also have relationships that are defined by non-fated meetings. These people come into our lives to teach us a lesson, for one particular reason or another, and then move on. As we have discussed in many other blogs, a soulmate relationship does not necessarily last a lifetime, as it could also only last for a season or a reason. And that reason is to teach you a life lesson about yourself that must be learned for your own personal growth, and then they move on. Even though we may have formed a strong emotional bond to that individual, during the time the life lesson was in play, we must also realize that once that lesson has been assimilated into our psyche, it is time for us to let them go, thank them for the lesson and move on as best we can. And yes, we realize that moving on may be easier said than done, but that will also be part of the lesson.
So how exactly can you determine if a meeting is fated or non-fated? In a fated meeting, as mentioned above, the Universe is definitely moving things around to “force” a meeting and it will only happen through divine design. Here is an example: Lets say you have a trip planned but when you get to the airport, your flight is cancelled. Even though you had been looking forward to the trip for many months you wonder now if you will ever get there. Finally, two days later, you are on an outbound plane to your destination. Instead of having 12 days in your locale, you now only have 10, and so you must adjust your sight-seeing activities accordingly. It is very frustrating to you to redo your entire schedule because you still want to see everything. One day you end up being somewhere you were not supposed to be on that day. Actually you were supposed to be somewhere very far away from that spot, but because you adjusted your itinerary, you were there. And BOOM! you meet someone and it has a very mythical, mystical feel to it. You were not supposed to be there. That was not your plan. But the Universe, and greater powers that be, orchestrated that entire sequence of events so you would be there, at the right time and the right place. Pretty amazing isn’t it?
Remember, non-fated relationships are just as important to our personal growth as fated ones. Also consider that the Universe brings into our lives the people and events we need at that moment to inspire us and cause us to change. If you have been in a non-fated relationship, be grateful for the experience and the lesson that came with it because in some way that person touched your life.
You don’t have to go out there and look for these types of connections. When they are supposed to come into your life they will and there is not one thing you can do to encourage it along. Go out. Live your life. When things start to appear chaotic, like the cancellation of plans, etc., take a step back and wonder what is happening and allow the Divine to work in your life.
A soulmate relationship is going to bring change into your life. We are not just talking about the kind of change where you will have a closely connected romantic partnership, but change that results from dealing with the dynamics of your soulmate relationship. Hopefully you will change, grow and evolve and so will your soulmate. When both parties ‘get it’ and are willing to make the changes they need to make for this relationship to truly work, there is balance. During your soulmate relationship you will receive many of the life lessons you might need in order to have a successful long-term relationship.
During times of separation and even break-ups, the two soulmates who make up the soulmate relationship are supposed to continue to grow and work on themselves. But do they really? Or, do they spend their time crying and obsessing over the break-up? Sure we understand that the break-up of a soulmate relationship can be particularly difficult, frustrating and overwhelming, but what are you doing for yourself during this time?
You have attracted this soulmate relationship into your life because you more than likely need to reassess some aspects of how you deal with relationships….and before this soulmate relationship can be successful, you will probably have to understand and accept the part of your personality, character or relationship behavior that might need a little ‘work’. How do you handle your romantic partner pulling back or withdrawing? How do you deal with a lack of communication? How do you feel when he hangs out with the guys? Is this a dysfunctional relationship, and you know you need to end it, but you stay in the hope that he will change?
Relationships are usually the best in the beginning. The firsts weeks, or even months, of a relationship where you are getting know each other are fast paced, exciting, and filled with romantic interludes. Just because that period of time must naturally come to an end does not indicate that the relationship is failing. One of the parties will naturally pull back because they have to pay bills, go to work, cut their grass or get their hair cut. Life comes along and throws a good dose of reality. If this usually creates a feeling of chaos and fear within you, this is probably one of the life lessons that is being highlighted in your soulmate relationship. If you usually freak-out, panic, do drive-bys, stalk him on Facebook or text him every 10 minutes, your behavior might need a little modifying. And with a soulmate relationship you are actually being called up by the Universe to make these changes so you can have a mature romantic relationship.
Some people need a lot of communication in a relationship, as it helps them feel secure about where the relationship is headed. If your soulmate is the strong, silent type, you may have to rely upon yourself for you own security. If your soulmate is not able to communicate with you every few hours, you will have to find a way to deal with it. You are being called upon by the Universe to deal with this aspect of yourself that needs a little kick. It may be difficult to change your behavior and your fears and insecurities may get the best of you, but by attracting this soulmate into your life, you have told the Universe you are ready to heal this aspect of yourself.
Sometimes even a soulmate relationship can become dysfunctional, sad but so very true. If you get stuck in one dysfunctional relationship after another what is your normal course of action? Do you hold on with a death grip, hoping and praying that things will magically improve? Has your soulmate relationship brought a lot of drama into your life? Are you tired of the roller coaster ride of not knowing where it is going or what he is going to do about it? What are you going to do about? Perhaps the Universe is calling you to change your behavior when you find yourself in a relationship, even a soulmate relationship, that is no longer making you happy. What is the life lesson here for you? Can the relationship be fixed? It will not magically fix itself, you will have to take action to fix it…or end it.
These are just a few examples of how a soulmate relationship can change you for the better. Of course there are some examples of soulmate relationships that could possibly change you for the worse, which we will cover in a later blog.
How has your soulmate relationship changed you? Have you learned to detach? Have you learned to focus on yourself? Have you learned patience or unconditional love? We welcome you to share your experiences with us and our readers!
Relationship Karma What Have you Learned?
Relationship karma is something we each carry with us in just about every relationship we have. Relationship karma can be found in the relationships we have with family, friends, co-workers, the Starbuck’s barista as well as all your romantic relationships. Not every relationship will have karma and not every relationship is karmic but we will learn fundamental lessons in life by engaging in relationships with karmic connections and soulmates. You might also want to check out our blog that details the difference between a karmic and soulmate relationships Karmic Relationships vs Soulmate Relationships.
When someone has a strong intuitive connection, Buddhism suggests that it’s because of karma, some past connection.~~Richard Gere
Many people believe that karma is punishment for past actions but the karma police are not going to come and get you and turn you into an earthworm in your next life, for any misdeeds you commit. The purpose of karma is to teach, not to punish. But what exactly is karma? It is a Sanskrit word for action and the universal law of cause and effect that says everything we do and say carries energy into the world that effects our present reality. Every action, has a reaction. In other words, every word we speak, decision we make and action we take creates and energetic imprint on our life. We create our reality from those thoughts, words and deeds. Additionally karma is connected to our life blueprint and the soulmate contracts we have with the collective soulmates we have in our lives. This of course will include life lessons and both the spiritual and personal growth we need to evolve as humans on the planet.
Karma, ahhh. We sow what we reap… We reap what we sow! We reap what we sow. The law of cause and effect. And we are all under this law.~~ Nina Hagen
If the purpose of karma is to teach, the purpose of relationship karma is to teach you about relationships. Relationship karma is the amalgamation of the experiences, lessons, dramas and traumas we incur through the process of being in a romantic relationship with a soulmate, in both the current and past lifetimes. The scenarios are being played out by the two of you, over and over, until you get it right. Some of these experiences will be positive and of course some will be negative. Unfortunately we silly humans learn best through the negative life lessons because essentially we are learning that we never want to go through or have that experience again. We move beyond and past it. On the bright side, the assimilation of these are the very ones we need to define our character and make us better relationship partners.
When you have relationship karma with someone, simply put, the karma and life lessons must be played out. If they are not, you will either 1) have that same lesson with someone else or 2) have it with this same soulmate during a later incarnation. It is how the wheel of life works. And you have a choice as to whether or not you want to continue to experience the karma with a specific person in your lifetime. If it becomes more than you want to deal with, you could exercise your right of free will and say “Adios, catch ya next time around”. The choice really is up to you and how much you are willing to sacrifice and endure to be with someone who is not stepping up to the plate. Is it practical to stay with someone who does not make you feel valued or love because you have some karmic debt with them? This is a choice you will have to make.
Karma moves in two directions. If we act virtuously, the seed we plant will result in happiness. If we act non-virtuously, suffering results.~~ Sakyong Mipham
Could Some Soulmate Connections be BAD for You?
Some soulmate connections could be ‘bad’ for you if you are unable to discern the ones you need to avoid. There is a common misconception that all soulmate connections are good and that you will live happily ever after. Of course it would be great if this were true, but unfortunately this is not the case. On the other hand, soulmate connections are to teach us things about ourselves and present opportunities for spiritual and personal growth. Here are some examples of when when soulmate connections could quite possibly be bad for you, or just plain bad.
- If you find yourself in a relationship with someone who is overbearing, rude, abusive, disrespectful and unwilling to change, this could possibly be a bad soulmate connection. But how can you know for sure? If things were great in the beginning (they always are by the way) but after the first two months his behavior changed for the worst, it might be time to assess this relationship. How does this relationship make you feel? Do you feel you have given away your power to this relationship but feel you need to hang in there because things were so great in the beginning? Is your soulmate willing to discuss this and make the changes needed to improve your relationship? If not, you could be experiencing one of the bad soulmate connections.
- You may feel you have a soulmate connection to someone but this does not always mean they feel the same. When you feel a soulmate connection to someone who does not reciprocate, you are trying to turn the relationship into something more than what it really is. You may both feel a very strong, intense connection to each other, especially sexually, but this does not always indicate it is a true soulmate relationship. If you are not both in agreement that this is a true soulmate connection, you might end up really hurt from having unrealistic expectations from this relationship. If he views your relationship as nothing more than a booty call, you could very well be stuck in a bad soulmate connection situation. You may feel the connection and have deep feelings for him, but in reality, you expectations for this person and this relationship could be very much off course.
- Another example of soulmate connections that could be bad for you is when your soulmate is married to someone else. Your married soulmate may tell you he will end his marriage when in reality he no intention of divorce. Even though the connection is so intense between the two of you (again, especially sexually) he may be too ingrained in his life with his wife. It is not that he does not love you nor see you as a soulmate partner, he could just not be willing to create upheaval in his life at the moment. Unless you are comfortable being someone’s mistress or willing to be considered ‘second’ in their life, this particular soulmate connection could be bad for you. Please see our blog When Your Soulmate is Married to Someone Else.
- Soulmate connections that take over you entire life could potentially be bad for you. Whenever you meet a soulmate it is normal to want to spend as much time with them as you can. This is totally understandable. But if you spend so much time with your soulmate, thinking about your soulmate, planning dates with your soulmate and fantasizing about your future with your soulmate, but allowing everything else in your life to fall by the wayside, this is probably not good for you. Likewise, if you soulmate partner insists that you spend all your free time with him, his family and his friends and you have not seen your family and friends in months, or years, this is quite possibly another example of soulmate connections gone bad.
We are not saying that these soulmate connections could ruin your life but we would like you to consider how your soulmate relationship is affecting you and the rest of your life. If you are feeling harmonious in you day to day life, all is well, but if you are questioning or wondering if something is wrong, you may want to consider assessing your life and relationship.
It is also important to consider that perhaps bad soulmate connections are not soulmate relationships at all. They could be karmic relationships that you have allowed yourself to believe is a soulmate relationship. Karmic relationships, as well as soulmate relationships, are in your life to cause you to evaluate an aspect of your life or your relationship, that needs addressing and probably modifying. Karmic relationships have a tendency to highlight the areas of our lives that need work allowing us to have personal and often spiritual transformation. After all, that is why we are all here.
So you want to find your soulmate? Why haven’t you found them yet? What must you do to find your soulmate? We are here to help you find your soulmate! When speaking with our clients we realize many of you have either spent a lot of time alone or been in one relationship after another that did not work out. So many of you want to know what specific reason may stop your from finding your soulmate as well as what steps your must take to find your soulmate partner. You have come to the right place!
More often than not, we discover that many of your are getting in the way of finding your soulmate. Now we are not saying it is all your fault if you have not found your soulmate, but you can actually create blocks and delays preventing the real soulmate relationship from entering your life.
If you waste your time with the wrong people, and in the wrong relationships, you definitely put your energy and effort into making a relationship work with Mr. Wrong. Wouldn’t it be better to free yourself to find Mr. Right, who has a greater potential to be your soulmate?. How can the universe, or the Divine, bring you your soulmate when you are so caught up in a dysfunctional relationship? In many cases, they won’t. Sometimes though, the universe will throw your soulmate into your life when you are involved with the wrong person to help you end it once and for all. In this way, your soulmate would serve as the catalyst you so need in your life to create the change you need to move forward with your life.
If you are looking for the wrong things in a partner, this call also keep you from finding your soulmate. If your main criteria are that he is rich, handsome, and drives a nice car, you may be putting obstacles in the way of meeting your soulmate. Your soulmate can be handsome, have money and drive a nice car. Then again, he may not. Do you want to settle down with someone who can give you the finer things in life, or would you rather find your soulmate? If so, you may have to forgo some of your other criteria and accept them as they are.